Can we be 'just friends'?

I think my blogging-drought is over at long last and i am thinking again. Even though the subject is borrowed, i am intrigued again. Which is a good thing.

Sometime back i came across this subject on, i think Dreamcatcher's blog. And today while reading the newspaper this caught my attention...again. I found myself lapping up the article with some interest. My curiosity-meter had notched up after a long while. So i had to write something despite this being a much talked about and argued over subject. And a little bit of humour does immense good to health.

So the question is, can men and women ever be 'just friends'? In other words is a platonic relationship possible between a man and a woman. This question is applicable to the men and men / women and women pairings as well, but lets stick to the straight category for now.

Now this article puts across this question to young singles (a motley mix of expats and locals) of Hong Kong, who frequent bars with drink buddies and movies with movie buddies. These people are young, working, single and mingle a lot. The reactions to this question are nothing short of interesting and something to... argue on.

As a woman, i would like to think that a platonic relationship between the two sexes is not an impossibility. What's an impossibility is to be attracted to every man/woman you come across in your lifetime. All this of course excludes the not applicable age groups - but then not too long back Collin Farrel allegedly begged for some carnal favours from a 70 yr old! *shudder* On second thoughts are they really not applicable ages? Maybe not.

But lets talk about normal scenarios. Logic and common-sense says that it's not possible to be attracted to every specimen of the opposite sex you interact with. Attraction is a complex thing. Sometimes even an Adonis can loose all charm once he opens his mouth (same goes for women), and on the other hand a pleasing personality works wonders for attraction. Besides there are so many other factors that contribute to attractiveness - bank balance, a convertible, a penthouse and the likes! :D

Jokes aside, I would like to believe 'just friendships' are a certain possibility between two mature adults. One can be great friends with a man/woman without feeling even an iota of attraction. It's not like the teenage when crushes happen to you like pimples - one appears before the other subsides!

Sometimes it's just a connection that you have with someone and you don't think if they are men or women. It's just good clean friendship. Sometimes you come across good people in life who you want to have as friends irrespective of gender. Then again, sometimes it's smart to keep friendships and attraction apart. Sometimes attractions can end good friendships. This is of course a woman's point of view. I would like to think most 'mature' men think the same way. But 'Mature Men' are a rare breed! And before i get crucified for uttering that, i made that comment based on what one of the men in the article has to say:
Of course i have girls who are just friends and nothing more. They're fat.

So you see i wasn't entirely wrong about maturity and men! :D

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In the movie Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal [Harry] and Meg Ryan [Sally] discuss weather men and women can be just friends.

Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes i do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes i do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No. What I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail them, too.
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Thankfully not all men are Harry! :D

* When Harry Met Sally excerpt taken from: South China Morning Post *