Got this as an email attachment from a friend...I'm not sure how true this is, but this is the best one i have ever come across. And even if it isn't, whoever concocted this sure has a sense of humour! enjoy! :D
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This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1.30 - 3.30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs, of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
And all i have been thinking of is how to improve my CV!! :D
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This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1.30 - 3.30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs, of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
The job application joke above is © 1997 by Greg Bulmash. Check out more humor by Greg Bulmash, or visit his insult database, or join his search for America's best hamburger.
---And all i have been thinking of is how to improve my CV!! :D
