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I should have been there in the 70s; when flower-power, colors, ideas and drifters ruled. Bell-bottoms and sunflowers, checkered pants and colorful wrap arounds. Beads and big sunglasses. Pink and orange.
I have these old photographs back home; of aunts and mom when they were not... aunts and mom. In these colourful - black and white - wrap arounds, that hugged their curves, not yet pulled and stretched by child-birth and the regular rigmarole that life becomes. And i would gawk at these pictures and think, wow, that is indeed so-and-so aunt who looks a pale shadow of this slim and svelte girl in bell-bots, beads, shirt and big sunglasses. She even had a ciggerette between her fingers, obviously just posing for one of the friends... you know one of those sessions that you have with girl-friends, when you talk silly about the latest fads, latest crushes and everything else under your sun. Girl friends rock!
Coming back to the aunts and mom, i would often wonder, why they let themselves go after a while. Like some coloured photograph drained out of its colors and what remains over the years are faint traces of pinks and oranges. And this holds true for men as well, though lesser in degree. Given that age does leave its footprints behind, do we need to hasten the process? Like my dad says, you are as young/old as you feel. I would often promise myself never to follow their footsteps. In some ways, my generation of women and men were far more pampered and empowered than the generation before us. Yet, at times, i cant help think that i am at an age that used to be synonymous with 'auntys' while i was growing up! As a teenager, i would address a 30 something woman as aunty. Gulp! :D
And then, most of the times, i do feel like a misfit. Is it possible to remain free yet attached? At times, i love the freedom that comes with detachment; not being answerable to anyone. Not be responsible for any pain to others. Free from expectations. Don't pegion-hole me, dont expect me to be a certain way. I at times surprise myself with the way i feel and think. So i find myself not fitting in any particular mould. I do not subscribe to the usual standards of status - material or social. I want to learn to live such a way that if anything i have now is taken away from me, i wouldn't experience as much pain as i have in the past. Really, nothings lost untill one is dead. But don't rob me of my freedom and i will belong, just be there when i am down and drained of inspiration/energy and so shall i, forever. Friendship and kindness are most important methinks. Because i want to experience this circus as much as i can while still keeping 'my world' intact. And i will let my close ones and my friends in, into my world. I do not need the whole circus inside my world. Yet at times the love for this freedom doesn't diminish the desire to belong. Is that ever possible? Does it make any sense? Ah, one of those questions that never get answered for some...
In other news, the painting has been started. Not super happy with it, but it's okay. I haven't painted in a long while. I wish i had a million dollar inheritance. I would live each day as a new one. Oh wait, i think, i have already begun doing that. :)
Have a lovely week ahead you all! :)
I have these old photographs back home; of aunts and mom when they were not... aunts and mom. In these colourful - black and white - wrap arounds, that hugged their curves, not yet pulled and stretched by child-birth and the regular rigmarole that life becomes. And i would gawk at these pictures and think, wow, that is indeed so-and-so aunt who looks a pale shadow of this slim and svelte girl in bell-bots, beads, shirt and big sunglasses. She even had a ciggerette between her fingers, obviously just posing for one of the friends... you know one of those sessions that you have with girl-friends, when you talk silly about the latest fads, latest crushes and everything else under your sun. Girl friends rock!
Coming back to the aunts and mom, i would often wonder, why they let themselves go after a while. Like some coloured photograph drained out of its colors and what remains over the years are faint traces of pinks and oranges. And this holds true for men as well, though lesser in degree. Given that age does leave its footprints behind, do we need to hasten the process? Like my dad says, you are as young/old as you feel. I would often promise myself never to follow their footsteps. In some ways, my generation of women and men were far more pampered and empowered than the generation before us. Yet, at times, i cant help think that i am at an age that used to be synonymous with 'auntys' while i was growing up! As a teenager, i would address a 30 something woman as aunty. Gulp! :D
And then, most of the times, i do feel like a misfit. Is it possible to remain free yet attached? At times, i love the freedom that comes with detachment; not being answerable to anyone. Not be responsible for any pain to others. Free from expectations. Don't pegion-hole me, dont expect me to be a certain way. I at times surprise myself with the way i feel and think. So i find myself not fitting in any particular mould. I do not subscribe to the usual standards of status - material or social. I want to learn to live such a way that if anything i have now is taken away from me, i wouldn't experience as much pain as i have in the past. Really, nothings lost untill one is dead. But don't rob me of my freedom and i will belong, just be there when i am down and drained of inspiration/energy and so shall i, forever. Friendship and kindness are most important methinks. Because i want to experience this circus as much as i can while still keeping 'my world' intact. And i will let my close ones and my friends in, into my world. I do not need the whole circus inside my world. Yet at times the love for this freedom doesn't diminish the desire to belong. Is that ever possible? Does it make any sense? Ah, one of those questions that never get answered for some...
In other news, the painting has been started. Not super happy with it, but it's okay. I haven't painted in a long while. I wish i had a million dollar inheritance. I would live each day as a new one. Oh wait, i think, i have already begun doing that. :)
Have a lovely week ahead you all! :)
Travis. Sing.
