It was my dad's Birthday yesterday. He turned 63. Took this picture this time around in Delhi.
My dad like many other Indian dads was what one would define as protective and at some point defined by me as 'over'protective. I never had that 'friends' equation with baba like i have seen with many other girls. Ma was there for that. Baba was always baba, protective, conventional baba.
But he was also full of contradictions. He was a hit with my friends especially guys (and here I'm talking about guys who are just friends, not boyfriends - the equation changed with even a hint of romance anywhere). He was a hit because of his awesome sense of humour.
I also remember him as a tyrant where my studies were concerned. Well tyrant may be an exaggeration, but yeah he was forever worried about my career choice (which to his dissapointment wasn't a Doctor or an Engineer). He perhaps wanted his children to be these super-achievers but over the years has accepted me and my brother's choices in life. Exam time was crunch time. As much as i hated it, i had to go though this early-morning-studying ritual every day! He had a theory that your mind is fresh early in the morning. Mine was far from it! But in all fairness he was more punctual in the waking up ritual than i could ever be.
He is also the true-blue bengali while i was the rebellious cosmopolitan. So there was enough fodder for arguments and this tradition is being continued by my brother! :D The joke going around in my family is that baba looks for a Bengali restaurant while eating out!
I have inherited my love for music from my dad. He lives for music and is quite young at heart. One would assume from his age that he would have a slightly tame/mature taste in music. But no sir! On the contrary, he digs the remixes churned out and has quite a number of them stacked up on the dashboard of the car. He hates to drive without music. And like me he digs RD Burman, SD Burman, Salil Choudhuri. He is also a romantic at heart. It's a little embarrasing and a lot of fun when he serenades Ma on some romantic song played on TV and Ma clumsily shuffles her feet along with him...and then exasperratingly exclaims "ufff onek hoyeche! bas aar na...onek boyesh hoyeche!" [Translated: That's enough! No more...We are old now!] :P
Apart from music I hope I have inherited his flair for languages. He writes very well. And he can speak several languages. About 8 or 9 of them! Apart form English, Hindi, Bangla, he can speak fluent Telugu, Manipuri, Bhutanese. He can also speak Punjabi, smattering of Nepali and Bihari hindi.
We have had our share of terrible rows.
An instance: He was what one would call, a chain-smoker. He could smoke 3-packs of cigarettes each day...that was normal. There were warnings from the doc which didn't help, neither did my mother's constant nagging. So I decided to take matters in my hands. Gave him an ultimatum that if he doesn't curb his smoking frequency he will be guilty of making me start smoking.I thought I had tamed him untill he said - Okay go ahead, I dont mind!! I was furious and appalled by the reaction and to prove my point took a cigarette from him and lighted it and took my first puff...and well I hated it!! I hated the taste of smoke and heat inside my mouth and throat! I failed to understand how he could smoke so much. Later, on being confronted by my mother as to how he could encourage his children to smoke, he said he knew I would hate it, so why bother and jeoparadise his smoking scene!! My brother doesn't smoke. I don't think my dad would mind if he did!
Despite all this he cried the most when I got married. And he is one of those rare men who cry watching movies.
Our relationship has gone through it's share of highs and lows. But I'm glad that my parents have each other at this point. My dad makes sure that Ma recieves a Bouquet first thing in the morning every b'day and Ma reciprocates the same way. They go and watch the latest bollywood movie to hit the town together. Ma makes sure that she cooks the fish just the way baba likes it. With just the right flavour and taste to it and scolds him if he slyly ventures to add a little extra salt. Somehow it's reassuring to see both of them sticking it out despite all odds after 30 years of stepping into each others lives. It's reassuring in a world full of incompatibilies, over-analysing of relationships. Perhaps it was easier for them to take it as it is and make it work regardless of anything else. And I'm glad that they did.
And I'm glad that I have them as parents, even if tomorrow I have to shout at them long distance over something that I don't agree with them on. :-)
I should end this post with my Ma's picture. She has lovely green eyes. Besides I'm a tad sentimental today and can't think of Ma and Baba separate.
