one year on

It has been a year since the ghastly and unbelievable images jumped through our tv screens and gripped our minds and hearts with disbelief and horror. One year on, have we really learnt a lesson? I don't think so...

The same problems plague us, the hatred, ignorance, apathy... i could just go on. And there are still scores of people with an educated facade and medieval mind living amidst us. We still have goons all out to squeeze out the last drop of liberty, compassion and creativity from the society in the name of morality, religion, nation, race, cast and what not. Perhaps its just me and my pessimism thats speaking, but a look at the news portals makes me depressed (not to forget the rediff articles comments section - makes my blood boil at times) ... i mean is this the world that i would want to have a child in? What is the point of procreating if this is what my child would have to face and deal with eventually? I know very doomsday like... but thats how i feel at times.

It has been, is and will be... forever... like an eternal love story, only nothing is good about this... religion, money, morals, power, corruption. I dont think there is an end to any of this. No wonder i lost track of the religion part of me along the way, when i saw how mind-numbing and blinding religion can be and that in most cases religion has nothing to do with spirituality or being as good a human as you can be. It evetually becomes, my religion and your religion and the eternal struggle to prove our point...

On a brighter note, I am reading "Eat, Pray Love". I like it; the sound, the self-deprecating humour. I like the casual tone and pace as well. And some of the thoughts of the author on religon are familiar. Having said that, i would also say, unlike the author, i dont really know if i believe in "God"... i wish i did; it would make things easier for me and its an infinitely attractive thought given the kind of security it brings along (and i am a sucker for the warm feeling of being secure - not always in the physical sense, but yeah i guess that too). But i really dont know if i do; barring the instances when i have fervently prayed a few thousand feet above ground at the mere hint of an air-turbulance or when i am shit-scared that i have some life-threatening ailment (you can blame it on the upbringing :)). And like i said i am a sucker for security and the thought that theres someome watching out there and things will be alright is very comforting... i really wish there is God out there. The truth however is that I sit on the fence and i wish there is some sign that would make me tumble over to the spiritual side of the fence ( are you listening God? :)).

There are other things that i am not sure about. Like... destiny. I have a feeling that things happen because they are destined. Or perhaps everything that happens is chance; nothing is predetermined as a dear friend had told me (he is an athiest ;-)). But i am not sure that i am ready to believe that; how is it then that some of the things predicted in my life have come true, if not for destiny or a predetermined way of things to be? If so, is this really connected to some force that controls my life? And if so, is that force God? If so then, where does it leave Karma? Or if i go on another tangent, where does that leave the expanding universe? Yes i think of that too... There are plenty of things that are hazy in my mind and belief system. What is not hazy is that i am really sure of one thing, that i certianly am not blinded by religion; i have my own set of values they ARE my religion and if and when i ever have a child, i will try my best to not impose any religion on him/ her... my child will be free to choose whatever s/he believes in. I guess the only thing i would try to brainwash into their little heads is, what goes around, comes around; so be aware of your actions and intentions coz they might come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect :)

Okay, so enough of the rant and back to some more blanked out staring at the computer screen :p

Ciao! ( That reminds me, and i quote from the book "Eat pray love", i did not know this but the book says, the word "ciao" is an abbreviation of a phrase used by medieval Venetians as an intimate salutation: Sono il suo schiavo! Meaning "I am your slave!")

So... Ciao once again ;-)