Saturday, September 19, 2009


It has been pouring outside and i am in no mood to work. I resort to some hot tea to keep me awake. It does not help much coz when i stare at dear old photoshop i blank out. Nope, there is no inspiration today... zilch. My heart is not in this.. in this photoshop, or the blank canvas, or the air-conditioned office, while the skies pour their heart out.

I wish i was some place else... I wish i was anywhere else but here. Perhaps reading a book at home or just sleeping. The left arm has been playing traunt since yesterday, i am not sure why; strange thing is, it felt better after the yoga session in the evening, when it should be feeling worse after all the pressure and exercise. Perhaps my body is giving me signals that i am growing old and that its rusting at places, so it needs some oiling, some exercise and movement lest it rusts out completely. Point taken.

There's also nostalgia in the air, which contributes to lethargy and unwillingness to work. Its making me prone to daydreaming and escapism. It's pujo time again and even though, i dont anymore feel the pujo in the air, or smell the shiuli, the thought of that time of the year does something to the mind... it conjures up images from the childhood; i have often found myself going back to childhood references; is this an indication of 'inching towards old age'? i hope not.

So as i was saying, even though i dont smell the shiuli anymore, i feel the Pujo in my bones at this time of the year. Quite strange for someone who is agnostic, is not religious at all, has no place of worship at home or sits on the fence about all things spiritual. Perhaps because the pujos were/ are never a religious experience for many of us. Its just a bengali thing... to be contradictory... of believeing in marxism and shakti pujo in the same breath...

I think more than anything else, its the burst of colours, textures, tastes, the activities, the noise, the rythms...anticipation, appreciations... that have remained imprinted in my mind and its impossible to shrug these images off... not now... not ever.

I shall drag my dear husband to the pujos and i'll get to wear some of the gorgeous saris that i keep looking at so longingly at times! :)