Photo session of a different kind! :)
Another world... beneath. Underwater World.
And yet another, tucked away but right beside. Orchid Garden - Botanical Garden.
I have just come back from the airport. Ma-baba are gone and the first thing that screams out in the house is the silence. Everything is so quiet.
I have become extremely awkward in emotional situations, especially goodbyes. And i realised its so easy for some, especially our previous generation to be expressive about their emotions. While ma-baba had moist eyes at the airport, i felt ill at ease. I wanted to flee as soon as i could. Not because i wasn't feeling sad or emotional, but because i feel as though i have lost control of my life if i were to let out too much, especially in front of my parents. I feel as if i need to gather the bits and pieces of myself, my life and sanity and theirs too, in my palms, and if i were to let out too much, it would weaken me and my parents in the process. I do not want to be weak.
The 2 weeks went past in a moment its seems. Despite the occassional generational gap debates and annoyances, i am glad ma-baba enjoyed themselves and i could spend some time with them and take them out and about. Maa was forced to walk more than she ever had, her rotund figure waddling like a duck! Needless to say she was the butt of baba and my jokes. Baba had his fill of Beer and Whiskey and Ma enjoyed the Orchids in the Botanical gardens, and i came to see a part of Singapore that i had not witnessed before; so serene, calm and beautiful. Its strange how there are tranquil worlds tucked away behind the hustle and bustle of the city, that thrive and breathe a life of their own, and we never realise that they are within our reach, as we are wrenched, pulled and pushed in our everyday rigmarole.
Stranger is the fact that my world has become to be what it is now, a far cry from my parents world or what they had expected my life would turn out to be. Their world seems to have frozen somewhere while mine has moved on. However at the end of day i guess, they reconcile and are happy if their children are happy.
I realise it is indeed true that when parents grow old they become your kids. When ma kept looking back at me from the immigration queue, her round self turning back and looking at me with long lost eyes, she looked like that child who is being forced to leave something precious behind. And i felt heavy in my heart and relieved at the same time. Relieved because i wanted to get back to my world, where i felt in control of my emotions, my life... heavy at heart because i realised how selfless their love is...
I have become extremely awkward in emotional situations, especially goodbyes. And i realised its so easy for some, especially our previous generation to be expressive about their emotions. While ma-baba had moist eyes at the airport, i felt ill at ease. I wanted to flee as soon as i could. Not because i wasn't feeling sad or emotional, but because i feel as though i have lost control of my life if i were to let out too much, especially in front of my parents. I feel as if i need to gather the bits and pieces of myself, my life and sanity and theirs too, in my palms, and if i were to let out too much, it would weaken me and my parents in the process. I do not want to be weak.
The 2 weeks went past in a moment its seems. Despite the occassional generational gap debates and annoyances, i am glad ma-baba enjoyed themselves and i could spend some time with them and take them out and about. Maa was forced to walk more than she ever had, her rotund figure waddling like a duck! Needless to say she was the butt of baba and my jokes. Baba had his fill of Beer and Whiskey and Ma enjoyed the Orchids in the Botanical gardens, and i came to see a part of Singapore that i had not witnessed before; so serene, calm and beautiful. Its strange how there are tranquil worlds tucked away behind the hustle and bustle of the city, that thrive and breathe a life of their own, and we never realise that they are within our reach, as we are wrenched, pulled and pushed in our everyday rigmarole.
Stranger is the fact that my world has become to be what it is now, a far cry from my parents world or what they had expected my life would turn out to be. Their world seems to have frozen somewhere while mine has moved on. However at the end of day i guess, they reconcile and are happy if their children are happy.
I realise it is indeed true that when parents grow old they become your kids. When ma kept looking back at me from the immigration queue, her round self turning back and looking at me with long lost eyes, she looked like that child who is being forced to leave something precious behind. And i felt heavy in my heart and relieved at the same time. Relieved because i wanted to get back to my world, where i felt in control of my emotions, my life... heavy at heart because i realised how selfless their love is...
