reflections

Travelogue - Vietnam - Phuket - II

2010-07-21T12:14:00.027+08:00

Okay, i know it has been really long since i came back and wrote something.
Note to self: Discipline is needed... loads of it. So without much ado, i begin the rest of the journey...

Day 2 - 11.02.2010

Breakfast at the hotel in Hanoi before we begin our drive from Hanoi to Halong bay with our guide Moon and the driver at 8.am. Yes that's early when one is holidaying; but we aren't complaining since we are really looking forward to Halong Bay.

8.am we head out into the city and bump into traffic which is already at its peak. Our guide tells us how her husband returned late at night, yet again in high spirits and asks me if Indian men are the same? oops! :) I say, my husband definitely isn't! We cross another landmark of the city, a bridge constructed in 1901 by the French. We are told, the contractors for the bridge were the same who built the Eiffel Tower! Vishal's hand is healing.. i think i forgot to mention this... the night before we started for Vietnam, Vishal was experinmenting in the kitchen as usual and accidentally (of course!) poured hot water on his wrist... some real bad burn. His wrist was bandaged for the entire journey and invariably invited questions from our guides. Perhaps they thought Indian women indulge in husband-bashing :)

It's a 4 hrs drive from the city to Halong Bay and we indulge in some small talk. We talk about the high taxes in Vietnam; many people prefer getting low basic salary with big bonuses. Our guide tells us about farmland life in Vietnam. How farmers in earlier days preferred having many children; one reason was more children = more farmland given by the govt. So there were instances where a farmer would have 19 or more children.. the parents would name their kids - No.1, No.2, No.3 and so on... The other reason for so many kids.. there were no TV or any other form of entertainment... so what do you do? :)

Any conversation in Vietnam is incomplete without anecdotes from the wartime.. we are told, some 300,000 tonnes of bombs were unleashed on Hanoi in 12 days and Nixon infamously claimed that he wanted to take Hanoi to the stone ages. There were generations poisoned by the chemical warfare and Agent Orange (sights of which we would witness later in Ho Chi Minh)... i can't even begin to imagine, how this nation not just managed to defeat the mighty Americans but also rise up to the challenge of building and healing a nation that was deeply injured and ravaged by the war. I can't imagine how the violence of that era must have left the psyche of an entire generation bruised and mangled. And i have so much respect for these people who rose from the dust and blood and worked hard to be where they are now; salute to the grit and positivity they possess.

Enroute to Halong Bay we visit a place where they create silk embroidered paintings amongst other handicrafts, a tradition that Vietnam is rich in, much like India. Some of these paintings are created by the physically challanged, so whatever the tourists buy goes to charity. We buy some exquisite embroidered paintings , some laquerware and a laquer painting which has a base of cracked egg-shells; such effort and attention to detail!

Halong Bay

Halong Bay in Vietnamese means "Descending Dragon Bay" and it's a UNESCO World Heritage site. Vietnamese legend has it that when the Vietnamese were fighting the Chinese, God sent Dragons to protect and defend the people. The jewels and jade the dragons spit out became the islets of Halong Bay. It's a collection of more than 1,600 limestone islets & islands in the Gulf of Tonkin. The waters of Halong are calm and peaceful and it wasn't untill the recent past (i can't remember exactly which year) that it was opened to tourists. Commercialisation and tourism has changed the landscape of Halong a bit, you do see lot more boats now that you would have in the past. I can only imagine how ethereally beautiful and serene this place must have been before humans decided to devour nature, yet again.

We reach Halong Bay. It's a beautiful day, sunny with breeze from the bay. Moon and our driver hand us over to our guide for this leg of the trip - Steven, who accompanies us with another couple in our boat, a Chinese junk named Victory (and so are most of the boats as we dicover later) with 2 bedrooms, a lounge area where one could sit, chat and dine and an open air deck upstairs. We are joined by the second couple, an elderly British couple, Mary & Dick. And this reminds me... i have always wondered, why would parents name their child "Dick"? why on earth? Anyway, we settle down in our cozy bedroom with a really plush loo for a small junk.

First off, we are served some of the best seafood evvvver for lunch... fresh catch from the bay we are told while the boat peacefully glides on the waters of Halong that is dotted with junks of all sizes. It' peaceful and serene and the experience is quite difficult to describe in words (i could play this scene again and again in my head and feel the serenity through my thoughts). What do we have for lunch? Steamed crabs & king prawns with calamansi, salt and red chillies dip. Cabbage rice, fried spring rolls with fish/ crab stuffing (we couldn't tell which one :p), fried fish, steamed rice, dragon fruit & local beer... yes all of this for lunch! And we happily hogged our way to a happy tummy (It was only after a while, i am punished for being such a glutton)...

After lunch, we are taken to this place called "Surprise Grotto". The limestone islets of the bay have some spectacular grottos, "Sửng Sốt" being one of them. It got its name from the French who called it "Grotte des Surprises". Why? because you are surprised at every nook and cranny of the grotto.. there are as many animals and forms as your imagination permits. We arrive at the islet and a climb up 50 steps brings us to the entrance of the Surprise Cave (as our guide Steven calls it) and we are in awe of nature yet again. The size and beauty of the grotto is spectacular, beautiful and something to be experienced. Parts of the cave are dramatically lighted in different colours; i wonder how it must have been without the tourists and the lights in the past. Spooky i guess!

After the grotto-visit, we head off to Quan Lan island which is part of an island range on the outside of the gulf of Tonkin and is part of a navigation route that connects China, Japan, Thailand, Phillipines to Vietnam. What strikes us immedaitely is that unlike the islets inside the bay, this one has a beach.. apparently man-made, but googling reveals its natural. There is this Pagoda at the top of the hill and Steven tells us that we can get some spectacular views of the bay from there. Unfortunately, like i mentioned before, i am punished for being a glutton.. I am visited by a very bad case of stomach upset and unfortunately in a place which doesn't have a functioning toilet. I mean there is a toilet, but that's about it. And at this point, i totally regret hogging like a pig. The thought of going up the steps to the Pagoda is excruciating and poor Vishal has to stay back on the beach with me and my gurgling, painful tummy. I manage to use the facilities provided, but i would love to wash away those memories completely. :)

Finally its time for us to board our boat; we set of towards the bay again and i heave a sigh of relief with the thought of a proper loo at my disposal. :)

Back on the boat we view a beautiful beautiful sunset from the open air upper deck, while our boat silently glides on the calm waters again. An amazing amazing experience. We soak-in everything till it's time for our dinner. My stomach seems alright by now and i think its alright to hog again :) Vishal continues to be surprised by how much i can eat when the food is good. :p

We join Mary & Dick for dinner; it's Mary's birthday so we raise a toast to celebrate the night with some good food, wine and company. For dinner we have stuffed crab, king prawns, bok choy, fried fish croquettes and some really good Chardonay. Dick and Mary are a well travelled couple who keep us entertained with their travel stories. Dick tells us stories about his childhood in Singapore. He and Singapore were still babies then and so when he visited the country some years back, he could no longer take Mary around to the places, streets and lanes that he grew up in. Much of what he had in his memories had changed.

We chat late into the night... how strange, so many thoughts and ideas exchanged with perfect strangers. Dick tells us that his family is from New Zealand and we tell him about our wonderful time in New Zealand. He tells us, how he wants to move to NZ for good but can't; Mary doesn't want to be far from the kids and grand-kids who are all in the UK. Ah, the pull of the family and blood! From what they tell us, we get the feeling that they don't fancy spending their old-age in UK. Every country has it's share of problems and so does the erstwhile land of the never setting sun. We are told that apart from the high taxes, if you are a British citizen, then 40% of your life's earnings go to the govt when you die! What?? Really?!! And that there are generations living on social security because they get more on social security than they would by doing low paying jobs. I guess, unless you live and experience a place, you never really know how it is...

We chat some more about the different places we have been to - India, Greece, Egypt, China, Singapore etc before saying our good nights.

If it was calm and peaceful during the day, the quiet of the night is one notch up. The waters are extremely calm. Apart from the gentle rocking of the boat, much like a baby's cradle, and the gentle whispers of the water, there is no other sound. (The boat was tilted towards my side of the bed the entire night! i thought it was because of me! really? am i THAT heavy? my fears were put to rest when in the morning i was told that Mary also slept on the same side.. woman power heh? ;-))... I would love to spend more such serene nights here... alas, our time in Halong Bay comes to an end tomorrow.

Travelogue - Vietnam - Phuket

2010-05-25T04:25:00.004+08:00

It has been over 3 months since our Vietnam-Phuket trip and it seems like it has been ages already. I would be repeating myself when i say how time flies, but its true.. I feel it even more as i age. Perhaps time moves faster as you age. And with ageing my memory keeps diminishing as well.

Blogging was a way for me to collect those moments into containers that i could peek into later in life. Blogger and cyberspace were easier than writing diaries. And you don't waste paper and save few more trees in the bargain... good karma and all. Alas, there is no time to blog and write diaries either. Something that i rued as i sat down writing my memories from the NZ trip; i could not remember most of the things few months down the line. So the Vietnam and Phuket trip saw me carrying a small diary and pen along. I made good use of the diary i must say, but its only now that i have the time to transfer the contents from paper to blog.

I was half-tempted to throw my pretty little diary into trash a month back when i was packing the godawful amount of junk we have collected for the shift; enough reason for me to write a rant post, but i won't give in to temptation, collecting memories for posterity is more important and precisely the reason i did not have the heart to throw my pretty little diary.

So here i am writing each day as a post, starting from Day 1.

Day1
10.02.2010 - 09.10 A.M

The last big outing we had which was quite a spectacular one, i lost the details as time passed by. I did not keep any journal or any account of our trip to NZ. And i lost some wonderful moments of one of the best times of our lives.

So here i am, rectifying past mistakes, trying to jot down whatever comes to mind as we sit in the Silver Kris lounge of Changi Terminal 2 and gobble up some juicy Pineapple and Watermelon chunks. Hopefully, I shall be able to continue this - the journal. Our flight is at 10.05 A.M and we reach Hanoi at 12.30 P.M (Hanoi time).

The flight has taken off and I am visited by the all-too -familiar "knot-in-the-tummy-and-sinking-spirits" feeling... hello there. I hate flights. I love travelling.

Delish food in SIA Business Class and i stuff myself and hog like a pig. I need to divert the mind away from the fact that we are several thousand feet above ground and inside a container that's held in place by nut-bolts and screws.. not a comforting thought. The good food is some solace though -

Starter: Smoked duck breast with dried apricot compote mustard vinaigrette. (Hope i jotted down right, can't really remember how it looked :P)
Main (Vishal) - Thai fried rice noddles with chicken, cuttle fish, leafy greens & egg.
Main (me) - Braised fish with hot bean sauce, seasonal vegetables (cabbage, beans, carrots, cauliflower, mushrooms - i love veggies!) and fried rice.
Red wine for both of us followed by gourmet cheese with garnishes for me while Vishal had a delish mango pudding for company. Yummy!!

----------------

Hanoi

My first impression of Hanoi was that the streets and landscape was a curious mix of Calcutta in parts and Delhi in parts. Our guide for the Hanoi leg of the trip told us that there are 54 languages in Vietnam, Vietnamese being one of them. All i could see was motorbikes everywhere. All kinds. Motorbikes of all shapes and sizes and colours; the type and country of make changes as you move away from the city into the rural areas; Italian and US bikes and scooters for the city people, while the rural folks are happy with the cheaper Chinese makes.

We were picked up at the airport by our guide for the Hanoi and Halong Bay leg of our trip - Moon... how nice... i told her my name is a double of hers... munmun and she instantly warmed up to me and made me her long lost sister. I was showered with many compliments and i wasnt sure if that was part of the job. A sweet and smart girl who told us many things about Hanoi and Vietnam. About Vietnamese men in general and her husband in particular. About how the Vietnamese men have a soft spot for drinking and how her husband came home previous night (rather morning - it was 2.am) in high spirits and without his shoes on him. And everytime she spoke about her son, there was a smile on her face and i realised she could be any other woman trying to make a living in any part of the world; how similar all of us are despite all that is different in us.

After a quick stop and change in our hotel (a 100yrs old restored heritage building) we headed off to sight-seeing; The Temple of Literature (based on teachings by Confucius), the Lake of Returned Sword (Hoan Kiem Lake). Heard stories about Confucius teachings and the impact of the 1000 years of the Chinese rule on the Vietnamese culture. Evening was spent viewing the beautiful and amazing water puppets; i wish i had better pictures of the water puppets. It's a must-watch if you are visitng Vietnam. Took a rickshaw ride along roads of French Quarters and Old Quarters. Amidst the chaotic traffic and the sea of motorbikes, i noticed the numerous art shops and galleries of all sizes dotting the roads and lanes of Hanoi. I have never come across so many in one place before.

Had delicious spring rolls and large portions of dinner that we couldn't finish at this lovely, very European in it's architecture restaurant... the French must have built it years back... lovely.

And it was a short walk back to the hotel; it was hard to believe that we were at home in Sgp this morning and had already covered so much ground in a different country and city and it was still Day 1! And we were sooo looking forward to the next day and Halong Bay!

From Top Left Clockwise: Our Hotel Lobby, Temple of Literature, Streets of Honoi, Vietnamese women working in the Temple of Literature garden, The Hoan Kiem Lake.

The year that was

2009-12-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

As the year comes to an end, i cant stop wondering yet again, where did the time go? The year seems to have whooshed past while i was busy living a life. It seems like yesterday that i was preparing for the wedding; and it seems just the other day that we took our jaded and tired asses to some amazing destinations and had the time of our life.

But most importantly, this year will be etched in my life as perhaps the most important one... as a culmination of what started with a chance meeting in 2006, that wiped away all past failings, pain and turmoil and i could make peace, forgive and forget. And i could start drawing this life of mine on a clean slate. Its culmination and begining... all at the same time. I have a new extended, wonderful family and i have V; couldn't have asked for more. Touchwood! So here i wish for more adventures, togetherness, friendship, love, peace, health for me, V and all around.

Health and fitness is something that has been playing peek-a-boo with me for sometime. I need to shed those godawful amounts of flab that i have managed to pile on (a content and happy life, some would say ;p). And so, i feel ever so determined to be disciplined about my workouts and yoga... starting from err today? Not just that, i hope to nag V all the way to yoga as well ;-))

Wow what a year it has been, my best in a long long long time! Hope i get to say the same thing at the end of 2010.

Heres wishing everyone a Very Happy New Year!!

ciao!

one year on

2009-11-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

It has been a year since the ghastly and unbelievable images jumped through our tv screens and gripped our minds and hearts with disbelief and horror. One year on, have we really learnt a lesson? I don't think so...

The same problems plague us, the hatred, ignorance, apathy... i could just go on. And there are still scores of people with an educated facade and medieval mind living amidst us. We still have goons all out to squeeze out the last drop of liberty, compassion and creativity from the society in the name of morality, religion, nation, race, cast and what not. Perhaps its just me and my pessimism thats speaking, but a look at the news portals makes me depressed (not to forget the rediff articles comments section - makes my blood boil at times) ... i mean is this the world that i would want to have a child in? What is the point of procreating if this is what my child would have to face and deal with eventually? I know very doomsday like... but thats how i feel at times.

It has been, is and will be... forever... like an eternal love story, only nothing is good about this... religion, money, morals, power, corruption. I dont think there is an end to any of this. No wonder i lost track of the religion part of me along the way, when i saw how mind-numbing and blinding religion can be and that in most cases religion has nothing to do with spirituality or being as good a human as you can be. It evetually becomes, my religion and your religion and the eternal struggle to prove our point...

On a brighter note, I am reading "Eat, Pray Love". I like it; the sound, the self-deprecating humour. I like the casual tone and pace as well. And some of the thoughts of the author on religon are familiar. Having said that, i would also say, unlike the author, i dont really know if i believe in "God"... i wish i did; it would make things easier for me and its an infinitely attractive thought given the kind of security it brings along (and i am a sucker for the warm feeling of being secure - not always in the physical sense, but yeah i guess that too). But i really dont know if i do; barring the instances when i have fervently prayed a few thousand feet above ground at the mere hint of an air-turbulance or when i am shit-scared that i have some life-threatening ailment (you can blame it on the upbringing :)). And like i said i am a sucker for security and the thought that theres someome watching out there and things will be alright is very comforting... i really wish there is God out there. The truth however is that I sit on the fence and i wish there is some sign that would make me tumble over to the spiritual side of the fence ( are you listening God? :)).

There are other things that i am not sure about. Like... destiny. I have a feeling that things happen because they are destined. Or perhaps everything that happens is chance; nothing is predetermined as a dear friend had told me (he is an athiest ;-)). But i am not sure that i am ready to believe that; how is it then that some of the things predicted in my life have come true, if not for destiny or a predetermined way of things to be? If so, is this really connected to some force that controls my life? And if so, is that force God? If so then, where does it leave Karma? Or if i go on another tangent, where does that leave the expanding universe? Yes i think of that too... There are plenty of things that are hazy in my mind and belief system. What is not hazy is that i am really sure of one thing, that i certianly am not blinded by religion; i have my own set of values they ARE my religion and if and when i ever have a child, i will try my best to not impose any religion on him/ her... my child will be free to choose whatever s/he believes in. I guess the only thing i would try to brainwash into their little heads is, what goes around, comes around; so be aware of your actions and intentions coz they might come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect :)

Okay, so enough of the rant and back to some more blanked out staring at the computer screen :p

Ciao! ( That reminds me, and i quote from the book "Eat pray love", i did not know this but the book says, the word "ciao" is an abbreviation of a phrase used by medieval Venetians as an intimate salutation: Sono il suo schiavo! Meaning "I am your slave!")

So... Ciao once again ;-)

2009-11-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

My Bamboo plant - green again

I am all snuggled up in my bed... on a workday. Thanks to a throat infection that payed me a visit and had me all drowsy and headached in its wake. Antibiotics were of immense help in mamothifying (am sure there's no such word... but eh, you get the point) the drowsy weak and zombied feeling.

Anyway, i am all snuggled up, but cant doze off just yet coz theres some work to do. The weather is not helping either, what with the sky pouring its heart out. Thanks to this 'pink of my health' condition that i am in, i am forced to ponder on something... theres some guilt thing going on here as well. Guilt since this particular aspect of my nature has driven my near and dear ones up the wall many times and the seeds of which were sown long long back when i was this oiled-hair-in-two-neat-braids school girl who read about terms such as cancer and who now thinks all the cancers known to the human race have either attacked or about to attack her.

So out of this immense feeling of guilt and exasperation with myself, i admit that i am, am afraid, a closet hypochondriac... anything that can go wrong with anyones health might have happened to me or can happen to me and the people i love... and so i google and google and google some more for knowledge and information; some of it is truly enlightening, some of it scares me and confuses me and so i google some more... enough to know about diseases more than some of the docs i have visited :P my father would have said, see now you know why i wanted you to be a doc! Alas...

On a different note, I like this, this working from home arrangement, it gives me enough freedom and time to do other things... when you are in office, you are tied to the office space even when theres not much work. I am so tempted to stop going to office and work from home from now on! :P

And theres some teeny weeny happy feeling sparkling somewhere in the midst of headaching misery. I was so disappointed to see the bamboo plant in my garden turn absolutely brown in the 10 days we were away from home... its soooo good to see the green appear again! my bamboo plant looks beautiful, fresh and green again... wish human body was like that. As a child i used to wonder how fantastic it would be to be able to shed tails like the lizard. You know if your arm was in pain or injured, just shed the arm and grow a new one! Human beings are disadvantaged it seems. We probably did not pick up some of these miraculous gifts that nature has gifted others in the name of evolution and survival.

I shall bid a good bye and make some tea... its still grey and raining outside. Have a fab weekend !

Wish i could weave the words

2009-11-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading "The inheritance of loss"... a bit overwhelmed; the heart and mind are abuzz with thoughts and visuals from the book . I have often envied this gift in people; the gift of weaving words so effortlessly... something that i so want to possess and which evades me. You know words which have a life of their own, they breathe, conjure images in your mind so vivid, you would feel you are in the midst of all that is unfolding between your eyes, in your mind.

Its as if good writers are good psychiatrists as well... how they would effortlessly read the human mind and its sea of thoughts, emotions and contradictions and then they would pick and choose the right ones and string them up together to create such beautiful and compelling stories. With words that are so damn powerful; unashamed, violent, ugly, brutally truthful, ripping the ugly face of nature and humankind open with all its innards out, shorn of all skin and cover, weak, decieving.... creating images of immense beauty, nature, sensitivity, kindness, love, hate and passion that can build and destroy lives and countries... i could almost hear the frogs croaking, the gurgle of the Teesta and maybe the flutter of the butterfly wings patched yellow and orange for a fleeting second.... or maybe i am just a very visual person... I even think in images most of the time while normally one would think in a particular language.

I have been part of the mountain life, but it was so long back that there are no immediate and vivid memories left... except for some. Everytime i go back home, i revisit the tiny black and white pictures from my childhood to keep the memories from fading away... yet some of the words mentioned in the book sound familiar and i felt a connection; teesta, kalimpong, baku, lepcha... I think my ma-in-law and my parents will have a stronger connect with the book since a significant part of their lives were spent in Darjeeling, tea-gardens and the northeast...

Anyway, tomorrow is another day and i am glad i am back to my reading rituals :)) a short break and then the faint fragrance of the bookshop that i so love awaits me...

g'nite!

And i screwed up the comments thing for the nth time... finally abandoned haloscan and came back home to blogger comments and in the bargain lost all my previous comments :(

Random

2009-09-19T05:07:00.000+08:00

It has been pouring outside and i am in no mood to work. I resort to some hot tea to keep me awake. It does not help much coz when i stare at dear old photoshop i blank out. Nope, there is no inspiration today... zilch. My heart is not in this.. in this photoshop, or the blank canvas, or the air-conditioned office, while the skies pour their heart out.

I wish i was some place else... I wish i was anywhere else but here. Perhaps reading a book at home or just sleeping. The left arm has been playing traunt since yesterday, i am not sure why; strange thing is, it felt better after the yoga session in the evening, when it should be feeling worse after all the pressure and exercise. Perhaps my body is giving me signals that i am growing old and that its rusting at places, so it needs some oiling, some exercise and movement lest it rusts out completely. Point taken.

There's also nostalgia in the air, which contributes to lethargy and unwillingness to work. Its making me prone to daydreaming and escapism. It's pujo time again and even though, i dont anymore feel the pujo in the air, or smell the shiuli, the thought of that time of the year does something to the mind... it conjures up images from the childhood; i have often found myself going back to childhood references; is this an indication of 'inching towards old age'? i hope not.

So as i was saying, even though i dont smell the shiuli anymore, i feel the Pujo in my bones at this time of the year. Quite strange for someone who is agnostic, is not religious at all, has no place of worship at home or sits on the fence about all things spiritual. Perhaps because the pujos were/ are never a religious experience for many of us. Its just a bengali thing... to be contradictory... of believeing in marxism and shakti pujo in the same breath...

I think more than anything else, its the burst of colours, textures, tastes, the activities, the noise, the rythms...anticipation, appreciations... that have remained imprinted in my mind and its impossible to shrug these images off... not now... not ever.

I shall drag my dear husband to the pujos and i'll get to wear some of the gorgeous saris that i keep looking at so longingly at times! :)

the NZ diaries - incomplete

2009-05-17T19:28:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time in another world, much like a fairy tale, there was a quaint house, with picket fences and green rolling fields as far as the eyes could see. A chimney at the roof top, a fireplace that kept the room warm... oh well... the above mentioned were an integral part of my childhood drawings... you know the ones kids scribble on paper with coloured crayons? For some reason these were my favourites, and they would peek their pretty little heads in many of my drawings, along with lots of rain... you can blame those English books and illustrations all you want, but those visuals warmed my little heart and talked of another world, different from what i was accustomed to in the real life...

What can i say, i got to live those visuals from my childhood on the New Zealand trip last week and i wanted to pour out the experience as soon as i could before it all got diluted in real life and i couldn’t find the words again. It was as if the daydreams and kiddie scribbles from yore had jumped into the present reality. And i LOVED it!! But of course, i have to thank Vishal for such an awesome experience, afterall he is the one who planned the entire trip!

Vishal is on the adventurous side... so our short trip had us on a bike tour, hike up the glaciers, and almost all forms of transports covered in the 9 days. Not just that, for someone like me, who doesn’t like flying, he had me fly 6 times in 10days! 2 of which were those small 20-seater, propeller planes. Add to that, on one of them the pilot was desperately trying to balance while trying to land on a very very windy night. I must have dug deep enough to leave marks on Vishal's arms. :)

We started from Singapore to Auckland on a 10hr long flight; Strangely enough, i like airports, because it gives me the feel of ‘going somewhere’, but i don’t like flights at all. But this one wasn’t all that bad, as we were flying SIA and i watched 3 movies on the flight. We arrived at a rainy Auckland night and stayed put in a hotel near the airport as we had to board a flight to Christchurch the next day.

The next day was bright and sunny to start with. Auckland wasn’t all that cold afterall, just the nip in the air, but Christchurch would be considerably colder than Auckland (well considerably for people like us who are used to the Singapore weather). So we flew into Christchurch and reached in the afternoon. Mike from the tour group who Vishal had arranged for the 4 day bike tour picked us up at the airport. And might i say, what a lovely and warm bunch, Mike, his wife Carol, their Son-in-law Simon and daughter Kim, two dogs, Daniel & Mika and two cats Muffin and i cant remember the name of the other black cat. My favourites were Daniel and Muffin, while vishal took a liking to Mika... he loves big dogs, while i like the smaller ones. Its a family run business and they love their bikes and the roads of New Zealand. Mike and Carol are English, so the house had the warm English country house feel. We had a cozy and delicious family dinner amidst much banter, jokes and laughing. Mike and Simon kept us in splits, which Simon would do our entire trip. There was hardly a dull moment!

Next morning, we set off on the motorbike tour on NZ roads – State Highway 1. We covered around 1200kms in 4 days. Vishal had a red BMW 1200RT.. a very handsome bike. Our first day was the Christchurch – Kaikoura route, with a stop over at Kaikoura for the night. It was a rainy and cold day. We were told that it was sub-zero in the night, and we would be driving around un 3-4 degrees. I was holding my video camera, but my fingers were so cold at the end of the drive that i decided not to hold my video camera while on the bike for the rest of the tour.

Despite the cold and rain, the journey was just amazing!! Words cant describe the scenery that we passed. Rolling lush fields, hills, with sheeps, cattle, horses grazing. Tiny hamlets, cute picture perfect houses. The Kaikoura coastline was just amazingly beautiful. The waves were lashing on the rocks, yes looked so beautiful... i had never seen such colours and waves before (Hong Kong doesn’t compare to this!). Kaikoura is a small town on the East coast with population near about 3000 people.... yeah thats all! Coming from Indian cities and then having lived in Singapore, this was quite an experience for both us.... Kaikoura is known for its whale watching facilities... unfortunately, there was no whale watching for us because of bad weather. But the BnB we were put up and the view from our room, sort of made up for the lost whale watching opportunity. Besides i think we were just too cold from the long ride and the warm interiors was all that we were waiting for!

One obvious thing about NZ towns... they close up REAL EARLY!! I mean real early! 5.30 – 6pm everyone is back home and the towns look like ghost towns! This was shocking for us, since 6pm is the time when things start rolling on weekdays in Singapore! Bugis someone? :P

So anyways, when we ventured out for dinner later in the evening, the town was deserted, and we had food at what seemed the only restaurant open!

.... Well i never really got around to completing the blog. About 4 months since the 'awesomest time ever', i return back to the blog. Unfortunately, i cant really pen down the details of the trip; what remains with me though, is the essence of the trip, the wonderment of coming in touch with nature, the warm fluffy feeling of being loved and sharing an adventure with the most important person in my life.

I shall perhaps try to revisit the days again some other time and pen down my memories and thoughts. Till then, i guess i will resort to some other thoughts and memories...

2009-01-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

Such indignation while i read latest reports on the Bangalore pub assault on women...

You see we are Indians... and our women should not smoke or drink... its fine for men to do that though! That's being Indian for you... so while pubs are a big NO NO for the Indian youth, its not a big issue when countless women get molested and eve-teased almost every freaking day of their adult lives in a country which boasts of worshipping goddesses... so that's what is Indian culture?

And, so while western dresses are a no no for Indian women, men who think its their moral responsibility to bring the message home to those who dare to veer away from the great indian culture, do so in "shirts/ trousers/ jeans"?? thats so very indian right?!

I had an argument with someone long back on how an Indian woman should be dressed... i was told sari is the way to dress and indian women should be dressed in sari/ salwaar kameez at all times... i said, yeah sure... the moment the Indian male dresses in dhoti/ pajama/ kurta at all times, i am game to follow the 'indian culture' as well!

Some of these messages people leave on Rediff are sickening and depressing... is this really where we are headed? will the indian woman ever feel safe in her own country? so india is not the west and we should shun all things west... fine then lets just go back a thousand years and shun EVERYTHING that we have got from the west... including the technology that we boast of having mastered!

This is a hurriedly put together post... but like i said, am angry at the moment...

2008-11-27T11:39:00.001+08:00

It just seems like a dead-end. No silver lining here after the dark... the darkness just stretches on.
Darkness soaked in blood of you and me who toil everyday unaware of our blood that could soak the dark any moment...

This fucking bloodshed is never going to end and we will watch as mute spectators as always and might just perish into it one day, just like so many did last night.

Rock On!!

2008-09-02T12:12:00.000+08:00

Watched Rock On over the weekend and loved it!

However, if i may nit-pick... the scene where Debbie gets a call from a friend telling her about the Channel V contest (10yrs earlier); 10yrs back (in case 10yrs in future is today's time), there were hardly any cellphones in India, a sleek one would be far fetched. There is however, no reference to the year in the movie, so i could be wrong.

When the band has a reunion at their usual hangout from the past, apart from the cobwebs and the derelict condition, did you notice the tube lights that were kept switched on? Who paid the bills? :P

Nit-picking apart, i loved the movie. Farhan's voice, though it sounds untrained to the ears, is really nice and rough around the edges... in a nice way. And Arjun Rampal makes waist length hair look soooooo good man! I especially liked Rampal and Shahana Goswami.

I thought Sinbaad the Sailor and Yeh Tumhari Meri Baatein were the best compositions. And the performance in the end left my heart beating faster, eyes moist and a beaming face. :P

Rock On!!

sab ne kaha tha in samundaro mein jaana nahi,
mere yaar sun lo sun lo

khwaabo ke peechhe jaake kuchh bhi hai paana nahi,
mere yaar sun lo sun lo

woh apni hi dhun mein raha
woh sunata tha dil ka kaha

uske the jo sapne, wohi uske the apne
aisa tha Sinbaad The Sailor, sailor......

2008-08-26T13:03:00.000+08:00

Oh man... i am in love with Saawariya music, all over again.

Music hasn't made me feel so romantic and rosy-eyed, my heart go a beat faster in a looong time. Umm... i watched the movie last night... hence the sudden rush of admiration for the music. =)

Enjoy!

get outta here!

2008-08-13T10:25:00.000+08:00

It's been 4 months short of a year and there hasn't been any break from the daily rigmarole, the city life and the mundane, save for a couple of welcome visits from family. And at this moment, every pore seems to be screaming... get outta here, take a break!

And all i can do is watch the Travel and Living channel! Man... what wouldn't i do to be in those shoes that trot the world. And that's when i am forced to think of the perils of a regular job, where you cant 'take off' as and when you want to... for that matter even 'need to'; despite me being such a sucker for notions such as "stability in life and income' etc, that seem like a pile of rubbish to the fatigued mind at this moment.

I have so many places to visit and so many invites from friends to visit, that even a year falls short. V and I keep planning where all we should go next year, but at the back of my mind, i keep thinking... with our jobs and all, we might just be spending the entire year our nose to the grindstone.

However, keeping the daydreamers flag high... the places i would love to visit right now?

Greece.
Venice.
A road trip through Europe.
Spain.
South America.
South Africa.
Goa.
Kerala.
The North East of India.
New Zealand.

... and so many other places... sigh...

Back to work now...

gloom

2008-07-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

It has been bad news everywhere. Blasts... loss of life. Human life is so... cheap?
And then yesterday the news of another meaningless death. I get shaken everytime i hear someone young die. Someone so talented, someone who had such a bright road ahead. Why is it that the undeserving still live, feed parasite-like on the society, take pleasure in death and destruction and those who ought to have lived... die.

I cant even say may your soul rest in peace, because i dont know if there is such a thing as soul. I dont know how it all works...

nous? ;-)

2008-07-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

Underwater World

confused

2008-07-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

A new perspective of life is what i experienced recently.

I have never been big on kids. "I love kids... when they are someone else's" That's me... for as long as i can remember. My independence and the notion of "so many things to do and so little time" has been there with me forever. I always thought kids would take away my dreams and independence from me. A rather selfish view i agree but not untrue either.

I have not been this close to kids or a life that involves children day-in and day-out for so long that any memory of the same has been tucked away amongst cob-webs. So these few days with my cousin and her family was a strange experience. On one hand i saw how restricted and chock-a-block life had become for the two of them (cousin and her husband). It was a dramatically different life from what i remembered they lived earlier. On the other hand, i felt perhaps their life was very fulfilling. Their love of the kids perhaps made them better people? I have read/ heard about this earlier... that many a times people become better human beings when they have children, because you don't want your children to witness the bad in you... somewhere the "honorable and honour and being good" comes into play? I dont know...

This past week left me feeling exhausted and it also left me feeling warm and happy. I can only imagine the exhaustion my cousin and her husband experience every day, but i had grown attached to the kids so much that by the time it was time for them to bid goodbyes, i did not want them to leave. What i saw and felt left me a little confused about my own feelings; i started thinking of kids of my own (gulp!) something that i had never thought of before with much seriousness and feeling, and what that would do to our life together; perhaps we will have a deeper meaning to life, an unselfish reason to live; perhaps it will complete our family? i dont know.... i am confused...

2008-06-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

Its raining and i like what i see from the slit of the curtains. The tv though drowns the pitter-patter which i love so much.

I feel exhausted. Work has been hectic and i think i am coming down with flu... all i want to do now is take a break; a few days off and relax at home, read some, and do nothing... else...

Life will change early next year and that change needs lots of preparation. So much to do. Ma had angioplasty operation; her artery was blocked. And I thought i was going to lose her. I fear losing people i love the most... more than anything else i think. Losing in terms of death. I am scared of dying... the strange thing is, i always think of myself and my memories in "eternal" terms, so every time the thought of dying crosses my mind, it startles me... i ponder on the futility of all struggles and success, of conflict and harmony... what does anything mean when the eventuality is a dead-end? Anyways, i think its the weakness and headache speaking...

I sometimes read Amitabh Bachchan and Aamir Khan's blog. Aamir's blog is always an interesting read but what surprises me is ABs command over the language. He writes so well... i always liked the way he speaks... his diction and pronunciation. But i had no clue he could write so much and so well...

And since its raining outside, and i am overwhelmed and exhausted and creativity and languid moments seem to be a thing of past, i shall reproduce something that i had written almost 2 yrs back. Perhaps, sadness/ solitude and creativity go hand in hand? Such a dilemma... since happiness is infectious too!

i fold the rain in layers
run fingers over it
smoothen the naughty running scattered creases
put them to sleep
hang it on the window sill
and wait for the wind to fan it dry
starch it stiff

i sit by the window sill
the folded rain drips and drops
dripping wet still
soaking the window sill
and I wait for the wind to arrive

while i wait, knee to chin
i gaze at the moon, frowning
bumpy with rashes, itchy and scowling
i reach one arm out
scratch the itchy armless moon
scratchy itchy armless harmless moon
i scratch it, soothe it, pat its bald head
soothed and calmed
the moon breaks into a grin
i grin back, knee to chin

i look out the window
still grinning, knee to chin
and i notice the green
the sappy, happy, mossy, grinning green
banana leaf green

i reach one arm out
scratch the green
scratch a mossy green patch clean
fingertips green, fingernails green
the green travels up my limbs
gnarly green veins
the wispy cotton dress turns green
eyes turn a sappy happy mossy green
i turn into a jungle queen!

and i wait by the window sill
the rain drips and drops, still
wetting the window sill
flooding the ground beneath

i look down and gaze astonished
as the ground below turns and twists
and The brown below struggles to turn blue
or is it blue that's trying to break free?!
boiling, gurgling, erupting
swirling, unfurling, wild blue
i watch stupefied, wide-eyed
as the ocean twists its limbs
roars and breaks free

still gazing at the blue
i roll a green lizard tongue out
in a flash i stick it out
slurp some blue, gulp it down
and lick my lips clean
smack!
this blue is a wine
a cherry red wine
a cherry red blue wine
that tastes just fine!

and i the jungle queen
sit by the window sill, still
slurping on my blue wine
grinning at the grinning moon
and i wait for the wind to arrive
to fan the dripping rain dry

good night my giant and everyone else :)

Thank you :-)

2008-03-12T16:09:00.000+08:00

I have been "wanting" to write a post for ages now. I was all set to once or twice, but for some reason words seem to evade and avoid me. I can't write no more! *gulp*

So even though there are tons of thoughts and streams of sentences beaded together inside my head, they get lost somewhere along the way to my fingers.

Anyways...

I have been watching this program on the History channel for sometime, about the Universe. And my interest in the space and the other world has been rekindled. I remember being a very interested child... and that interest was lost on the way to adulthood and everything that comes along with it. Come to think of it, many such interests lose their way amongst the crowd of events that adulthood brings along with it.

Along with the questions and exclamations on things that are revealed to me about the space around us, comes many more questions and doubts about the meaning of life, evolution, divinity. Its one of those philosophical phases i guess and i would rather not venture into putting my thoughts into as many words... more so because its a chore for me to find as many words at this point. Told you they lose their way!

Amongst other things, a strange thought came to mind on the birthday; It seems that every decade in my life has brought along a flavour. The present one saw a major change in my life that was ushered in with a lot of pain and turmoil. And soon this one will also usher in another major change in my life; something exquisitely beautiful and joyous. Something very happy that a giant has brought along. :-)

Thanks for a lovely day my giant. It was a lovely birthday. Even the skies gifted me rain almost all day long, they know i love the rain. ;-)

And to all those who thought i was special enough to wish me, thank you so much! :-)

2008-01-20T22:54:00.000+08:00

A war ravaged building.
Not... :P

The building next to my place was being torn down sometime back...

And sometime back someone dear said something that caused such wonderment. Because it had never occurred to me before and because it sparkled such infinite possibilities in my mind, that as a child was prone to much imagination. He said that he read somewhere, when you look at the stars, you are looking into the past. You may be looking at stars that may not even exist at the moment, because it took light years for the light from the stars reach you... so the next time you see that tiny sparkle in the sky... you could be looking at something that existed quite sometime back, but you can still see it....

Yet another one...

2008-01-16T14:46:00.000+08:00

New Year i mean and a very happy one at that... for all :)

Meanwhile glimpses of Penang - Pearl of the Orient.

TZP

2007-12-24T16:36:00.000+08:00

Taare Zameen Par: One of the best movies in the recent times. Watch it, it tugs at your heart strings like nothing else. Even the most cynical, hard-hearted would be melted by this one.

Beautiful!!!

Kholo kholo darwaze
Parde karo kinare
Khuntey se bandhi hai hawa
Mil ke chhudao saare

...

Baasi zindagi udaasi
Taazi hasney ko raazi
Garma garma saari
Abhi abhi hai utaari

Prasoon Joshi at his best!

rain

2007-12-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

Its been pouring skies almost all the time and i love it. When i see an overcast pregnant sky and hear the distant thunder, it brings back images from days long gone. Of ma's cooking - khichdi and garam garam pakodas. And i no longer want to sit on the swiveling chair and peer into the huge monitor... :-/

bittersweet

2007-12-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

So i have been trying to log into my Flickr account for ages and i can't because i have forgotten my password (i tried all the password permutations and combinations that i know of and can think of!) Duh! And i cant bloody retrieve my password because i don't remember the DOB info i had put in at the time of registration. Double duh! I have no idea how the password is different from ALL the passwords i use... unless i was doped when i updated my account and that is IF i updated my account AND i had NO idea that the DOB will be so damn crucial, so err... i must have put in some dummy content.... gawd, i can keep on ranting. Am sure my fault too, but i have never ever come across a more irritating system. Its supposed to make life easier, not so damn difficult! So what happens if i cant log into my account. Err... it will stay like this... like... forever? Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!

Anyways, on a brighter note, i have been able to fix the RSS feed issue it seems :-)

Now that the rant is over let me get to sweeter things. Christmas has brought a Digital SLR for me ;-) And i am super trigger-happy. Its still a long way for me since i have just about started on the technicalities and nuances of photography. I am still attached to my point and shoot. We go a long way; 4 years. It was my first expensive camera! :-) Having said that, i am loving my first DSLR! So many options and possibilities compared to a point and shoot.

I am uploading few pictures that i clicked today at my pottery teacher's home. Its a quaint house, the kind i like. Its one of those charming homes which have a warm, slightly untidy, scattered, lived-in feel to it. Brick and stone placed in the midst of shades of green. Pots and ceramics co-exist with the moss green creepers and bamboo shoots... I would love to have something like this, a warm cosy and inviting place where friends can drop in anytime for a cup of coffee... there’s a teeny weeny hitch in this green tinted dream; though i like the greens i am not really good with the greens. I have unfortunately not inherited my mother’s green thumb and so… have never been able to nurture a potted plant leave alone a garden!

Have a beautiful weekend you all :-)

potters inc

2007-11-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

I got the first set of glazed items the other day. Not quite impressed by what i saw. Not sure why, but the glazes did not turn out the way i thought they would. Am glad though that i learnt something new. The pinched pots did not turn out well, but the slab box was not all that bad, though i wish i had done the glazing better. I am not entirely sure if i like the chipped glaze effect (i dont dislike it either - looks nice from some angles). I wanted a very different glaze effect for the box and did the whole masking tape thing... but when it came to dipping it in colours, i screwed up the sequence of colours... oh well... I quite liked the ash tray though. It kind of looks cute and is already being put to use by someone i gifted it to... next in line is another slabbing class and then the wheel... yay!

For some reason i can't create RSS feed for this blog! :-/

this is...

2007-11-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

for the hairy giant
who tip-toed in gently
in cautious steps
that didn't abuse and trample
he picked up the dried leaf
wrinkled brown with frowns
wrapped it in silken moisture
cuddled it warm
smoothened the frowns
with sweeping long browns
fed it sunshine and rain
watered it in local breweries
took it to places lush and clean
turned it green

happy birthday
crazy funny sunny
gentle giant :)

m-u-n-d-a-n-e

2007-10-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

the mundane numbs the mind
i wish i was someplace else
perched atop the fluffy blues
nestled inside the steel wings
cuddled in those long (hairy? ;-)) limbs

perhaps somewhere green
lush plush washed clean
perhaps somewhere brown
the gold dust clings to gold of the skin
it could be the misty hills
or the rain lashed sands
we could make the time stand still
untill its time to return...
to the mundane that numbs the mind

It has been a tiring week and my mind is b-l-a-n-k. I need a vacation! :-)

Nahin Saamne - Taal

One of my all time favourites.

Sunrise

2007-10-10T13:02:00.001+08:00

Since the sun sets on the old blog... it rises here.

This is where you will find me now.
You can still tread through the jungle of memories in the old blog. :)

Here's a toast to the new skin, new beginings!

Home

2007-10-03T13:32:00.000+08:00

September. A month of closures. The door opens to something new and beautiful. Something new yet so close... as if i have known it for ever...

i am building the walls again
but..

what if the cracks revisit
and the black slithers in
unnoticed...

what if someone sneaks in
unnoticed...
and takes my treasure away

what if you invite the intruder...

what if the walls are imaginary
and my home exists in my mind
while you breathe in open air
would you lay the bricks with me

what if you build a home
different from mine...

---

Alcohol has seeped in and random thoughts sweep in.

September was a month of closures. A couple of years back, this was something i dreaded.. and strangely enough a couple of years later the closure has brought immense relief. Because life is beautiful.
And thats all thanks to you.. :)

Yet, at times doubts knock at the door and i take a step back... i don want this to be an illusion yet again. Please let this be right... let this be forever... let me be the "little one" forever. Forevers... yet again... I dont know who i plead to. Cant be god because i dont believe in one. Certainly not in the conventional sense..

That brings me to something, i was back at home a couple of weeks back and everytime i am at home, i am amazed at the devoutness of my parents and others like them. How did i turn out to be a non-believer while my parents have immense faith in god and the justice that the all encompassing force delivers, despite the blows life has dished out to them. And when justice is not done, the fault must lie either with the deeds of previous birth or all will be taken care of in the next one.

Sometimes i think my parents and their likes who believe in cosmic justice have held onto their innocence, while i lost it along the way. I am without a religion or faith... yet i dont label myself an atheist.... maybe nature is that god that i can attempt to believe in. But then there is no justice in nature... theres just survival.

I was watching something on TV the other day which showed how monkeys (apes? i dont exactly remember)/ animals in general figure out what to do to take care of their health. They self medicate and know what to do when they fall ill. So how do they do it without possession of human intelligence or the knowhow of science and medicine? So there... nature is survival... not justice.

Then again, last night while flipping through channels, i chanced upon this discussion on the other world... the world of spirits and paranormal. I hate horror films... any horror film that i have watched has been through the gaps between my palms, slits between my eyelids or behind magazines. The idea of the other world is uneasy for me. I like the clinical option... that you die and thats the end... its clean, there is no confusion, no hanging around the seams. But then what about the paranormal incidents that people have experienced. While i write this, i realise how far i have come from the person i was in younger years. Having been brought up on a regular diet of bengali ethos sprinkled with seasonings of Durga puja, Kali puja etc... i am very far away from that world. I dont know if its a good thing or bad. But i cringe at the thought of regionalism/fanaticism/caste ism or any other pigeon hole. To me, i am my own person first and foremost...everything else that defines me... my language, the religion i was born in, the caste system that i so detest, does not exist in my world. I have my own rules and beliefs and everyone is an individual to me, shorn of these artificial embellishments... And thats the alcohol speaking... :)

I haven't written in such a long time that, there is a deluge of feelings and thoughts spilling over. Thankfully, much of it will be wiped out before staining this space... I want it to rain, it hasn't rained for what it seems a long while... perhaps becasue it has been so hot past few days.

Its late... i think i will pour myself some more Black label, indulge in some Pink Floyd and then hit the bed.

Have a wonderful, beautiful, lovable, huggable, silly, hilarious, productive, lazy, happy, spicy, sweet, delicious... nevermind... have a rocking weekend! :-)

assortment

2007-08-23T04:27:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling a tad insipid and inspired at the same time, for some time. There is this want to do something spectacular, something that would refresh the mind, yet the mind is not fresh enough to venture into that something that eludes me. One step at a time I think, let me get things done one at a time and clear the backlogs. Tick off the tasks from the to-do-list. But I am not a to-do-list person. At times when I see some great website/design, I really wish I could do something as beautiful or spectacular or awe-inspiring. The delay in finishing up stuff is also because of my dear laptop. Its young, handsome and immensely unreliable. Serves me right for being shallow and getting swayed by good looks.

There are a few positive beginnings though, I have started reading after a long hiatus. The last book i finished reading was on vampires, good in a timepass sort of way. How historical references were tied-into the story and narration was what interested me most. Reading the book, I felt that I could easily be in a different skin, ensconced in large well stocked libraries housed in European buildings, flipping through yellowed pages. Even in this skin, I love libraries and bookshops. I don’t know why, but surrounded with so many books makes me very happy even if I don’t buy or borrow a single book. I like to look at the sea of colours and designs on the covers. Coming back to the other skin, I imagined myself roaming ancient streets, mingling with like minded dreamers who have perhaps no clue or interest in the present. It’s a bubbled and cozy life. Alas, I am too much of a realist. Which reminds me, a friend read out this astrology passage to me on Piscean traits, that stated that Pisceans are dreamers to the core, yet when you accuse them of being one (dreamer) they proclaim to be realists. And I agree, I am a realist even though people close to me disagree wholeheartedly.

There are 2 more books that i have quite ambitiously ventured into reading at the same time. I say ambitious because i have never attempted reading more than one book at a time. Usually i like to read one book, finish it and start on another. And i havent been able to finish any of the books i started reading for quite sometime. IF i could start reading one in the first place.

Speaking of imagining myself in a different skin, I have this curious habit of seeing what I hear and read. I almost always visualize everything I hear. Scenes float in front of my eyes when I hear someone narrating some incidence or when I read. The silliest and most tasteless of words are not spared and metamorphose into scenes much to my dismay. :-)

The other positive beginning has been pottery classes. The last two classes I learnt pinching and coiling. The pots looked amateurish, it was fun nevertheless! Speaking of coiling, I remember creating miniature pots and pans with coils made out of the dough Ma used for chapattis, as a kid! I cant wait to glaze and turn the wheel again!

sleep

2007-07-28T03:13:00.000+08:00

I need to sleep.
I want to sleep... ;-)

:)

TGIF! Have a lovely weekend.

exhausted

2007-07-17T14:25:00.000+08:00

Some time back i had written a post on traveling light and how i was shrugging off sand. Alas, all the shrugging off didn't really help; and i found myself loading and unloading loads after loads of sand that i had thought i had shrugged off...

I came here last year with 2 suitcases; one very big and one small one. Weekend was spent transferring my worldly possessions and it took 2 rounds to do so. By the end of Sunday, i was exhausted and my muscles were tense from all the cleaning up and sorting out. Without the kind soul who shared the burden and shouldered carrying the luggage... i am not sure how i would have managed to shift such monstrosity without having to call the movers...

Inspiration too it seems has deserted me at this point. The feeling of inadequacy gnaws at times and i feel quite minuscule in the bigger scheme of things. I need to get back to my reading and i need to paint more... there are so many meaningful things to do ; and yet at times i find myself wading through stagnant water...

I reckon the mind is exhausted like the body...

fallen....

2007-07-03T06:02:00.000+08:00

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful
Expressive
Creative
Poetic
Smart

What Season Woman Are You?

Picked this one up from peanutbutterfly's blog.

I think i like the rains the most. And i think i would love the falls despite the fact that i have never really experienced Falls... Delhi weather is much like Black and White, all that i can remember of Delhi are long summers and short winters... But i always liked the fall colours, the fall pictures... oranges, browns, pathways draped in fallen leaves.... October was the time i liked in Delhi and the onset of winters in HK. I like that nip in the air paired with the sunrays on my face; when its not sweaty hot and neither is it bone chilling cold. I think i would like the smell of autumn just as i like how the rains smell...

Music i am listening to right now...

Creep - Radiohead

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
One Headlight - The Wallflowers

Whole Lotta Love - oh yeah ;-)

Have a lovely week ahead...

Entwined n Entangled

2007-05-29T07:45:00.000+08:00

Entwined. Acrylic on Canvas.

Finished my first attempt at Acrylic over the weekend. Entwined like you and me? :)

Its funny how we get entangled in our lifestyles. Weekend was spent disentangling myself a bit. I never realised I had gathered such a crowd around me; Packaging, bags, papers, receipts hidden in nooks and crannies. Strange thing is I don’t like to collect too much yet I manage to do just that. Most of it were things that I could do without, and much of it went into the dustbin and down the shoot. I was shrugging off the sand from myself frantically, so the bins were full of torn pieces of bills, bank statements, receipts, vouchers and what nots. The clothes are bundled up to be given to Salvation Army. And the shoe boxes are to be thrown away. In fact I have stopped taking shoe boxes; I request them to be given in bags. And why so many plastic bags? Why can’t we just use paper bags? Why can’t that be a fashion statement? Ban plastic bags, ban shoe boxes… give everything in paper bags. Paper bags can look so cool… okay, I shall stop.

The thought of living like ma-baba with knick-knacks from eons away stacked into trunks. Trunks full of papers and files from god knows which era; it gives me the jitters.

There is much to be shrugged off still. I wouldn’t say I am on the road to Zen, but I really want to travel light…

Mika - Relax
;-)

Have a lovely week ahead.

2007-05-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

tu aa gaya yuun nazar mein
jaise subah dopahar mein
madhoshi yuun hi nahi dil pe chaayi
niyat ne li angdaayi
chhuaa tune kuchh iss tarah
badli fiza badla sama
o meri jaan...

:)

I cant stop listening to this song.
Entwined... a new canvas. Acrylic on canvas. entwined like you and me... O meri jaan :)

Watched metro... will talk about it (read Irrfan Khan)more later....

2 weeks

2007-04-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

Photo session of a different kind! :)

Another world... beneath. Underwater World.

And yet another, tucked away but right beside. Orchid Garden - Botanical Garden.

I have just come back from the airport. Ma-baba are gone and the first thing that screams out in the house is the silence. Everything is so quiet.

I have become extremely awkward in emotional situations, especially goodbyes. And i realised its so easy for some, especially our previous generation to be expressive about their emotions. While ma-baba had moist eyes at the airport, i felt ill at ease. I wanted to flee as soon as i could. Not because i wasn't feeling sad or emotional, but because i feel as though i have lost control of my life if i were to let out too much, especially in front of my parents. I feel as if i need to gather the bits and pieces of myself, my life and sanity and theirs too, in my palms, and if i were to let out too much, it would weaken me and my parents in the process. I do not want to be weak.

The 2 weeks went past in a moment its seems. Despite the occassional generational gap debates and annoyances, i am glad ma-baba enjoyed themselves and i could spend some time with them and take them out and about. Maa was forced to walk more than she ever had, her rotund figure waddling like a duck! Needless to say she was the butt of baba and my jokes. Baba had his fill of Beer and Whiskey and Ma enjoyed the Orchids in the Botanical gardens, and i came to see a part of Singapore that i had not witnessed before; so serene, calm and beautiful. Its strange how there are tranquil worlds tucked away behind the hustle and bustle of the city, that thrive and breathe a life of their own, and we never realise that they are within our reach, as we are wrenched, pulled and pushed in our everyday rigmarole.

Stranger is the fact that my world has become to be what it is now, a far cry from my parents world or what they had expected my life would turn out to be. Their world seems to have frozen somewhere while mine has moved on. However at the end of day i guess, they reconcile and are happy if their children are happy.

I realise it is indeed true that when parents grow old they become your kids. When ma kept looking back at me from the immigration queue, her round self turning back and looking at me with long lost eyes, she looked like that child who is being forced to leave something precious behind. And i felt heavy in my heart and relieved at the same time. Relieved because i wanted to get back to my world, where i felt in control of my emotions, my life... heavy at heart because i realised how selfless their love is...

2007-04-20T06:45:00.000+08:00

Can t believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know you never told me

Yeah boy band... so what...

escape

2007-04-04T14:47:00.000+08:00

Often times, when the mind is tired, i wish for it to rain or i get fleeting glimpses of moments from my childhood behind shut eyes; mostly about rain or storms or amidst nature. Perhaps because it gives a sense of coziness, you know how it is like when you are younger/child. Maybe it is so, because other side is always greener? When we are younger we cant wait to grow up and get it all under our control, be the masters of our destiny and escape the drudgery of school and studies. And then we grow up and life serves us few punches, some that we can handle, a few which are tougher, yet most of us manage. So, at times a few of us reminisce with pink goggles.
Escape.

I was about to sleep and i closed my eyes and these moments from my younger years floated. Delhi is not really known for its rains, yet i remember this once, eons back when it poured. It must have rained plenty times after that, but this imagery remains with me, when waves of water poured and washed down the roads. I used to love the rare occurance of what we used to call 'shila brishti', something like bits of snow (?) with rain. And i do miss the typhoons and storms of HK when all i could hear was the roar of wind outside and all i could see was the tall palms sway. Funny how nature in turmoil can make one feel snug and cozy.

Escape.

Which reminds me, i was watching the rerun of yesterdays episode of KBC tonight. So this person on being teased by SRK about how he gets away with daydreaming about gopis (women) replies how its easier to think/daydream of things as compared to doing them in real life. Fo example, you can walk on the moon, land on mars in your dreams, achieving that in real life in material terms is another ballgame... similarly you can think of as many gopis in your mind as you want as long as you dont go ahead and try turn your dream into reality.
Makes sense? :P

Its late, goodnight you all... sweet dreams! :)

tears in heaven

2007-03-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

Ferry to Bintan. Indonesia.

Mujhe raat din. Sangharsh.

I have been listening to 'Mujhe raat din' since morning. And despite work, romance managed to seep in through the cracks. I love this song and find it incredibly romantic. Theres something so sexy about 'waiting', 'stolen glances', passion that seethes beneath, and the eyes... i remember the eyes most, when that someone would seek and crave for you through his eyes, because everything else is unspoken.

karoon kya mujhe tum bataati nahin ho
chupaati ho mujhse yeh tumhaari khataa hai...

What's gotten into me!

And then when the couch potato takes over after a hard days work, i come across this long forgotten song on American Idol and there you go, that feeling seeps in again.

there's a kind of hush
all over the world tonight
all over the world
you can hear the sounds of lovers in love
you know what I mean

just the two of us
and nobody else in sight
there's nobody else and I'm feeling good
just holding you tight...

And that set me thinking, yes i have been told that i think too much, a trait that i accuse my mother of yet cannot seem to shrug off myself. But let me not digress. Coming back to my train of thoughts, this was different, there was familiarity here; comfortable and cozy. Then again, does comfort kill longing? Can familiarity and want co-exist? Don't we want love and lust in equal share? But then, romance and trust go hand in hand for some and trust takes some time. And with time and trust comes comfort which is oh so beautiful... so what does one do? Hmmm...

On a different note, one more couch potato pick from the series Earl. And many i know would vouch for this one:
Quitting smoking is stressful and when i am stressed, i smoke.

Have a wonderful weekend! :-)

I remember your eyes baby... the most...

ermmm

2007-02-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

So i watched Eklavya today. Aside the fact that i could see everything in doubles... (no it wasn't alcohol, it was the focus... duh!) and that it marred the stunning visuals, i had one question. For those of you who have seen the movie, you will probably know what i am talking about.

It's a post independence story; the backdrop being the fast fading power of the Rajwaras. An assumption reiterated by one of the dialogues Sanjay Dutt's character mouths - something on the lines of 'ab democracy hai' (translated: its democracy now). Note the emphasis on 'Ab'.

And if that is the case, how do you explain Jimmy Shergill's character watching Parinda minutes before being killed by Amitabh Bachchan?

Hmmm...

since... hence... :p

2007-01-23T07:09:00.000+08:00

Since i don't exercise culinary skills often.
Since my latest guinea pigs survived my experiments.

Hence... ;-)

Chicken. Paneer. Aaloo subzi. And some colours! Pics taken by turquoisebleu.

Have a good week ahead you all. :)

WTF!!!!

2007-01-17T03:18:00.000+08:00

Arrrrrrrrrrggghhhh!!

Am in for some password trouble. Have been trying to log onto my Flickr account... it wouldn't let me!! Wrong ID or Password it says... how so?? I have been logging in with this password forever. And i tried all the passwords that i use and i have a set of passwords that i use, its not as if this one is out of the ordinary or some godforsaken word/number combo that i wouldn't remember otherwise!!

Am so effing pissed off, the 'forgot password' help is no help either... it asks me for my b'day information AND Postal code!!! What if i DON'T remember the postal code i fed in... what if i fed-in the postal code when i was in Timbuktu and not there anymore and hence dont remember it. Isn't technology supposed to make our life easier??? Why the eff retrieving my password so effing difficult!!!

All i wanted to do was upload some pics on Flickr... sigh...

Oh the other day i realised my Haloscan account for the poetry blog has vanished. Just like that!! :O

Damn!!

knock. knock!

2007-01-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

Daman. Sunset. Dec 2006.

It's a new beginning; quite literally for me. This year the sun finally sets on things i have left behind... shores left long past, that dim in the distance as i watch the faint lines blur and disappear into the blushing horizon. And somehow, the sunset brings a sense of relief and an urgency to move forward, move on and let go of anything that wasn't mine. Indeed there is an immense sense of relief. Perhaps because i am watching the sunset from a distance, on this gold sprinkled sandy beach of new beginnings, new associations, hope and love... And as i sit amidst the wind; the salt in the wind that has dried the salt that welled in my eyes in not such a distant past, a distant shore though, i feel it even more... that nothing is ever the end until you are dead.

The New Year was ushered-in amongst new friendships; some wonderful people who welcomed me with warmth. Hyderabad, Mumbai and Daman. Bottles & Chimney; getting drunk, driving (not me!), Mocha; some more drinking (coffee this time), Biryani, some more driving on Hyderabad roads (not me again), Go Karting (that's the only 'driving' that i managed. Baah!).

Much has changed in Hyderabad in the 7yrs since my last visit. The part of the city that was still at a nascent stage wore a crowded look. Unfortunately i couldn't visit the old city; the plate was full. On our way to Mumbai from Hyderabad, I was surprised at the number of Budget Airlines that have cropped up - Go Air, Spice Air, Kingfisher to name a few. The best part, no auntijis as airhostesses. Sometimes while traveling on Air India, one feels like a school kid what with air-hostess auntijis ordering you around like school teachers. Almost makes me nostalgic. :p

It was amchi Mumbai after Hyderabad. After about 20yrs! A night drive on empty Mumbai roads and a tete-a-tete with Mumbai Police as we parked at Nariman Point in the dead of the night. It didn't help that we drove through and parked on the wrong side of the road. Well, they didn't know that we were all high on beer as well! Not much was seen of Mumbai, but what made an impression on me was the sense-of-humour Mumbai autowallahs possess, something that their brethrens in Delhi are in severe need of. While we were driving through Mumbai roads at night, a friend noticed one of those 'drunk driving messages' only much more inspiring this time. It said, 'Jeeyoge nahi toh peeyoge kaise?' Translated it means, how will you drink if you don't live? See! Not preachy at all, lots of sense... and humour. Damn good life-funda i thought.

After our one-night-stand with Mumbai, a stopover at a dhaba for aaloo-parantha and some yummy creamy dahi later, we were driving through the Western Express Highway to Daman (again moi driving. Not!). I love endless roads and endless drives with the window open. I like the wind on my face. Something that i don't get to do in the AC cabs here. Someday i would like to stand and smoke at the train door, while villages and green fields rush past me, you know like they show in the movies? :)

Daman was a different experience. A sleepy town that was a Portuguese colony not so long back. Unlike other beaches that i have seen till now, the sand here was dark grey. I thought dirt at first, but was told it's because of the rocks they are coloured so. We walked through the slush and mud of the sea in an attempt to see how far the water had receded during the day and we sat on the rocks in the evening only to realise that the water had filled in and surrounded us. We spent time sitting on the beach, gulping down beer, munching on fried pomfret and prawns - fresh catch we were told, playing dumb-charades. Evenings were spent watching enthusiastic junta dancing to latest Bollywood chart-busters and even more enthusiastic Gujjus dancing to Gujju tunes that seemed to go on and on and on. All courtesy the local 'Power DJ'. :) And amidst these moments, 2007 came knocking at our door. We welcomed it with a bottle of Champagne. (Pronounced cham-paag-ne. Yes i used to do that as well; helped my English. My spellings were almost always correct ;D)

It's back to the grind, back to same old same old new.

Moral of the story/life lesson learnt:
Jeeyoge nahi toh peeyoge kaise?
*And i sit with my glass of Johnnie Walker Black Label as i write this* ;-)

Wish you all a very Happy New Year. Hope that all you wished for, craved for, prayed for comes true this year. :)

rain rain pour again!

2006-12-21T07:42:00.000+08:00

It rained cats and dogs and rhinos and some more almost all of yesterday. Well, one of the worst ever in 75 yrs as the newspapers reported. And I loved it! Even though getting up in the morning and dragging yourself to work while its pours outside is a task in itself. It rained and thundered and rained and poured and rained and thundered on and on and on and... and of course I loved it! :p

I have always loved the rain. Especially when it rains at night while I comfortably snuggle up in my bed, look out of the window at the downpour. I feel very content for some reason then, as if the downpour washes away all the worries along with it.

Anyway, not enough time to write a longish post. Will come back later and add-in something. But before I go, the holidays will be spent in Hyderabad and Daman mostly. So hopefully will have some pictures in the new year. Which is a good thing, since I haven't been a shutter happy for sometime now.

Ciao all! Be good. :)

P.S: In case I don't come back to add anything else before the end of the year, Merry Christmas and a very very Happy New Year to all! :)

mmmmm...

2006-11-24T08:50:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I have mused or thought of anything else apart from the delicious whirlwind that life has come to be. Do I want to wake up from this dream? Perhaps not, or perhaps calling this 'state' a dream would be unfair, it is as real as it gets. Right?

Often times a particular state we are in becomes the world for us. And everything else that surrounds takes on a hazy garb. You know, like when you focus while shooting photographs? The backgrounds are hazy. So certain things in life, take on center stage. And you let them, because they mean the world to you. If the state is delicious then it can take you to places you have never been before. Do I want to be taken to such places? Yes, I do, as earnestly as there can be a wish... So as I embark on this journey, I am a bit hesitant. No... wait, hesitant would be the wrong word, not hesitant anymore because the first trepid steps have already been taken. There is however, this strange alchemy of apprehension and excitement. That at times makes me take one step back and re-assess my steps only to lurch full force and run, because I don't want to miss that train. It's a brand new joyride and I don't care where it takes me, perhaps because I like the journey so much and I want it to last forever... Despite that irritating voice in my head that connives and cautions me at times and sows seeds of doubt... how can good things happen to me? Am I not given to soaking my soul in the dark, alone? So is this 'dream' an accident? Is this how it should be, exactly how it should be... And yet again, I snap at that voice and shut it up and continue on my journey that takes me through lands lush and green, basking in sunshine, drenched in rain, rainbow crowned; where fluffy clouds strut across vast blues and I can lie down and gaze at the vast black decked with sprinklings of twinkling stars...

Okay, enough already! Need to get back to work and resume the joyride ;-)

Have a lovely weekend you all!

when all i want is you...

2006-11-15T02:43:00.000+08:00

what if you get off at the next stop
would you just wave as I'm drifting off
if I never saw you again
could I
keep all of this
inside...

Natalie Imbruglia. Shiver.

Funny how good things at times seem too good for oneself and you keep them at bay as long as you can and then you can't anymore.

And then... you hope to hold onto them as long as you can...

yes I have to have to have to
change the rules
i'm with you

All i want is you. U2. Me2. :p

:)

and orange? :)

2006-11-08T05:58:00.000+08:00

A glimpse of oranges and yellows on canvas. Not earthshattering, not too bad an attempt either. Hopefully this indicates a begining of something... more colours perhaps? Life mirrors canvas perhaps? For now, i am hooked onto pink ;-)

Pink. Aerosmith.

A bit of splurging on oneself feels good. Two black dresses and one pretty and all lace. Naah, not pink. Cream...

In other news, watched Don and Jaan-e-man. Hmmm... i liked Don. There, i said it. No, i am not comparing, either the two Dons (the previous one, i havent watched... duh!) or Amitabh and Shahrukh. But then there can be no comparison, there can never be another Amitabh, right? Having said that, SRK looks sinister enough. I always thought he could look sinister and kind, ruthless and compassionate. He has those eyes. Comparisons are inevitable, however to Farhan's credit, i thought he made the movie well. It is glam, and it looks good like that.... who cares about the skeptics! I love the style, the sheen, the shine, the polish. What soul are we talking about here? And I love the twist in the end, i like loose ends. Leaves enough room for more... greedy we all are, aren't we? Besides, i love the movies. So my votes on the new Don. Skeptics can go take a walk...

Hmmm... What else, lots to write coupled with lots of inertia to write is not good for the blog. Meanwhile you all have a good life... i sure have one for now, for a change. Touch wood! :)

three's a crowd?! :)

2006-10-19T06:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, so i got tagged by Alcarwen. I remember chancing upon Alcarwen. She came blog hopping once and i hopped back and thus started a nice blog-friendship. Much like a few others that happened to me over the last couple of years... It surprises me still as to how two strangers from different cultures/continents/backgrounds can connect at some level. Or perhaps they connect because they read and are read shorn of any physical facade? Or perhaps anonymity is a facade, so its easier to put your thoughts out there through the sieve? Don't know...

It has been two years of rants, anguish, fun and nonsense. I had forgotten it was another October 2 years back when i started blogging. My blog has seen me grow (?) ;-) and grown with me perhaps. The language has changed, the tone and intent has seen the seasons change as I traversed through life. The ride has been bumpy, smooth, lonesome and cold, surrounded and warm. Could it be any more interesting?! :)

Back to Alcarwen, wish her a very Happy B'day. :-)

And now the tag:

3 smells that i like:
White Musk (I usually buy this perfume... almost always)
Smell of rain (You know what i mean? When it soaks the earth...)
Dried leaves/petals tucked into books for years

3 smells that i dont like:
The smell of rot
Sewage (Yeah, me too, like everyone else)
Durian! :P

3 jobs i have had in my life:
Errmm... i have always been a designer by profession! Yeah, very boring, i know...

3 movies i could watch over and over:
Amelie
Dirty Dancing! :P (I wanted to dance like them! sigh...)
Chungking Express (Leaves me with a happy feeling :))

3 fond memories:
Hmmm... this is difficult. So many of them!

3 places i have lived:
Delhi
Hong Kong
Singapore

3 things i like to do:
Listen to music
Daydream (duh!)
Watch movies

3 of my favourite foods:
Daal-bhaat
Shorshey ilish
Anything with smoked salmon in it

3 places i would like to be right now:
Greece (yeah, me too)
Some exotic secluded island (Pristine beaches. White sand. White, blue and green :))
Home, sleeping while it pours outside.

3 websites i visit daily:
www.google.com
www.rediff.com
http://aparnabanerjee.blogspot.com :p

3 things that make me cry:
Movies (Am a total cry-baby where sappy movies are concerned)
When i am angry
When i miss people i care for

The tag gets passed onto whoever hops in here and wishes to tag along...

---

Chal Chale. Woh Lamhe.
Love the simplicity of the words. Endearing :)

naa jahaan bheed ho naa jahaan bhar ke log
naa shehar mein base laakhon logon ka shor
chand lamhen tu inse mujhe durr kar
chal chale apane ghar hamsafar

;-)

2006-10-13T05:50:00.000+08:00

a
Okay, so it's been ages since i did one of these.
And guess what the result had to be.

You're... Whiskey! Whiskey is a special drink. You have to be a special person to pull off whiskey. You're smooth and warm, but you bring a big bite! You're very well balanced and people love having you around. Unfortunately, whiskey can leave you with a bad after taste and not everyone can take the heat. But those who can handle the bite, are the ones that never put the bottle down! I personally am a fan of this stuff!

Take this quiz!

:p

Few nice ones from the quiz...

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. (huh!)

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all. (correct!)

And

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. ;-)

Santana feat. Everlast.
Put your lights on.

...

2006-10-10T08:58:00.000+08:00

I should have been there in the 70s; when flower-power, colors, ideas and drifters ruled. Bell-bottoms and sunflowers, checkered pants and colorful wrap arounds. Beads and big sunglasses. Pink and orange.

I have these old photographs back home; of aunts and mom when they were not... aunts and mom. In these colourful - black and white - wrap arounds, that hugged their curves, not yet pulled and stretched by child-birth and the regular rigmarole that life becomes. And i would gawk at these pictures and think, wow, that is indeed so-and-so aunt who looks a pale shadow of this slim and svelte girl in bell-bots, beads, shirt and big sunglasses. She even had a ciggerette between her fingers, obviously just posing for one of the friends... you know one of those sessions that you have with girl-friends, when you talk silly about the latest fads, latest crushes and everything else under your sun. Girl friends rock!
Coming back to the aunts and mom, i would often wonder, why they let themselves go after a while. Like some coloured photograph drained out of its colors and what remains over the years are faint traces of pinks and oranges. And this holds true for men as well, though lesser in degree. Given that age does leave its footprints behind, do we need to hasten the process? Like my dad says, you are as young/old as you feel. I would often promise myself never to follow their footsteps. In some ways, my generation of women and men were far more pampered and empowered than the generation before us. Yet, at times, i cant help think that i am at an age that used to be synonymous with 'auntys' while i was growing up! As a teenager, i would address a 30 something woman as aunty. Gulp! :D

And then, most of the times, i do feel like a misfit. Is it possible to remain free yet attached? At times, i love the freedom that comes with detachment; not being answerable to anyone. Not be responsible for any pain to others. Free from expectations. Don't pegion-hole me, dont expect me to be a certain way. I at times surprise myself with the way i feel and think. So i find myself not fitting in any particular mould. I do not subscribe to the usual standards of status - material or social. I want to learn to live such a way that if anything i have now is taken away from me, i wouldn't experience as much pain as i have in the past. Really, nothings lost untill one is dead. But don't rob me of my freedom and i will belong, just be there when i am down and drained of inspiration/energy and so shall i, forever. Friendship and kindness are most important methinks. Because i want to experience this circus as much as i can while still keeping 'my world' intact. And i will let my close ones and my friends in, into my world. I do not need the whole circus inside my world. Yet at times the love for this freedom doesn't diminish the desire to belong. Is that ever possible? Does it make any sense? Ah, one of those questions that never get answered for some...

In other news, the painting has been started. Not super happy with it, but it's okay. I haven't painted in a long while. I wish i had a million dollar inheritance. I would live each day as a new one. Oh wait, i think, i have already begun doing that. :)

Have a lovely week ahead you all! :)

Travis. Sing.

etc... yet again...

2006-10-03T13:18:00.001+08:00

a

Bought charcoal, pastel and sketchpads. Shall start sketching soon. Paint as well. My ankles hurt when i run, not running right i guess. But i must say, it feels incredibly good after a run. And now i know why runners don't like running indoors on treadmills, i would prefer running outdoors anyday. October starts and i need to sort-out a LOT of stuff... a lot. Take life by it horns? Damn that sounds cliched! :)

On the brighter side, watched Pyaar Ke Side Effects. Please go watch... was in splits. Mallika in this avatar was refreshing and so was the humour.

Jaane kya chaahe man baanwara
Akhiyan mere saawan chala

Like this track the best!

Have a great week ahead you all :)

---

Okay, so the couch potato is back. Well almost. Monday, i realised, we play doctor-doctor! Grey's Anatomy followed by Scrubs. Doctor series that are so damn different from each other. I love Grey's Anatomy. You know those quirky witticisms, or those thoughtful observations. Like in SATC days, everytime Carrie would type out her famous one-lines with pauses in between, i would go, wow! how did they cook this up? All said and done though, ER remains a fav!

Ah, theres definitely something about good looking docs on TV... :)

etc... yet again...

2006-10-03T13:18:00.000+08:00

Have a great week ahead you all :)

Ah, theres definitely something about good looking docs on TV... :)

Let me be inspired.

2005-06-10T11:24:00.000+08:00

There is a thin line between inspiration and blatant copying. A thin, but a definite line. Unfortunately the ailment of copying afflicts many of our ilk (artists in general). We have innumerable such instances in our very own bollywood where music directors, film makers shamelessly rip-off compositions, stories from the rest of the world, in particular hollywood and pass off as their own.

Fortunately there are some self-respecting individuals who go an extra mile to create something 'original'. I do not understand this psyche though, the need to copy something and call it your own. How can one feel proud of something that is not their creation, it just takes a little more feeling and thinking to create something that is entirely yours. Something that you can take pride in.

Having said that, one needs to point out the fact that no artistic creation is hundred percent original. The human mind is such that it soaks-in everything that it is surrounded with, like a sponge, especially a creative mind. Everyday life, your surroundings, the strangers you meet or pass by, the tiny glimpses into someone else's life and everything else that happens around you, to you or someone else is enough to draw creative inspiration from. Life and nature is so dynamic that one can never run out of ideas. So when an actor emotes, or a painter gives life to the canvas, it most likely is a trickle from the sponge that has soaked-in so much. It's an amalgamation of the experiences, observations, feelings that lie there in their minds. Some obvious and some that they are oblivious to.

I can spend hours in book shops looking at design books. The human mind and it's capacity to create amazes me! To think that at any given point innumerable minds are coming up with innumerable ideas substantiates the magnificence of the human mind.

My ChungKing Express DVD has an introduction and wrap-up by Quentin Tarantino (it was released by his Rolling Thunder pictures in the US). Amongst other things, Tarantino talks about the common influences that he shares with WongKarWai in movie making. One of the things that he says and that i remember is that, one doesn't necessarily need to learn the art of filmmaking formally to make good films. One just needs to love the art. And this holds true for any creative field. One just needs to have that love and passion to run that extra mile. Our very own RGV is a fine example. He never learnt filmmaking anywhere. He just loved the movies and is one of the very few filmmakers who push the envelope and give bollywood it's share of good, popular cinema.

In my spare time (and i have had lots of it for sometime), i love browsing through websites. It is truly joyous to see such good work around you. Work that stimulates your mind and you don't feel dead anymore. I find myself both humbled and inspired at the same time.

I shall be posting links to some nice and some weird websites that i come across. Let me start with these two:

http://www.emilianorodriguez.com.ar/
http://www.designchapel.com

random comforts.

2005-06-08T11:30:00.000+08:00

in no particular order.

a nice cozy home. not too big. not too small.

a regular job. money in the bank. maybe even a five-year plan.

comfortable bed. couches. soft pillows. cushions. bolsters.

old clothes. because they are soft. because you get attached to some of them.

old photographs. because that's all that you are left with.

books. book shelves. book shops. design books.

music. collections. movies. that you can watch again and again.

clean bathroom. long showers. soft towels. scented candles. wind chimes.

laptop. internet connection. emails. i check them everyday. yahoo and msn IM. that's what i shout on when i am about to crumble.

paint brushes. colours. imagination. ability to create and design. i wouldn't know what else to do.

day dreaming. that's all that i do.

rooftops where you can lie awake and stare at the starlit night sky. straight in the eye.

coffee and cafes that you can sit and read in and while away time. windows that you look out of when it rains.

palm trees. i like it when the leaves rustle.

wine. good food. canned food for when you are tired. soyabean milk. it's light and good for health.

a few good friends. who you can speak to without being judged. a few good friends. who you don't judge.

personal space. and someone special to invade it.

the words 'our' and 'us'. not me and you. not mine and yours.

appreciation. affection. tender words. 'I am sorry' after harsh words.

relationships that you can take for granted. people who don't leave you. no matter what. people who you won't leave. no matter what.

a partner to snuggle up to each morning. who understands you. or at least tries to. that in itself is enough.

peace. security. stability. erratic rollercoaster is painful. not joyous.

i was once asked by someone what was more important. happiness or love? i did not have an answer. in my mind i thought it was love. but i don't know anymore. perhaps it's more important to be happy. if love comes your way then you have hit the jackpot. if not at least you are happy with yourself. with whatever you have. even if that's all that you have. yourself.

Need some 'sound' advice!

2005-06-06T13:22:00.000+08:00

Okay, can someone help me out with this. I uploaded this song 'Dilse Re' on my soundblox, but its not playing! I dont know why. On my soundblox it gives an error message:

*Data conversion error: iv exception: Invalid MP3 - only MPEG audio Layer 3 supported.*

But i can play it on winamp. The info for this song on winamp says:

Size: 6424816 bytes
Header found at: 1879 bytes
Length: 402 seconds
MPEG 1.0 layer 3
128kbit, 15429 frames
44100Hz Stereo

(Now if i understand right, this says that it's an MPEG layer 3 file, right? Then why isn't it playing?)

On the Lazslo website, under MP3 encoding limitations, it says :

To play properly over the Web, MP3 audio files for SoundBlox must be encoded at a fixed bit rate of 160 kbps or lower, and at a sample rate of 11025 hz, 22050 hz or 44100 hz. Lower bit and sample rates will yield substantially smaller file sizes and improve Web playback performance. Some users report best Internet playback for music at 64kbps.

Can someone throw some light on this? It'll also help me understand sound better :-)

Thanx!

------

Added three new songs:

Kandisa by Indian Ocean: This is an awesome number by Indian Ocean. Kandisa means 'praise'. It's based on a Syrian Catholic hym in the ancient language of Aramaic. Very earthy and soulful. The blending of the Aramaic hyms and hindustaani classical vocals is flawless and amazing. Listen to it with your eyes closed! :-)

Tanha Dil by Shaan: This is one of the rare nice pop numbers churned out of the non-bollywood music scene in india.

Phir Dhoom by Euphoria: When Euphoria first burst into the music scene with Dhoom Pichuk, everyone took notice of them. Dhoom Pichuk was a major hit owing to its fresh, folk sounds.When i was in HT back in Delhi, Palash Sen, the lead singer, visited our office for one of those celebrity chat events. And we let him go only after he had sung a few lines of Maeri, if i am not wrong. And boy can he sing! He has an amazing voice. This one is from their album, Phir Dhoom.

ChungKing Express

2005-06-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

I love movies and music as many of you can tell by now. I watch almost all kinds of movies and i listen to all kind of music. Language or preconcieved notions have never kept me away from my periodic food for soul indulgence. I watch action, comedies, thrillers and horrors (which is the least preferred genre and is always watched with a magazine in front - to hide behind.)

But what i love the most are movies that speak the language of romance, i am a sucker for romantic movies. Having said that there are very few movies that are truly romantic. I am not talking about the mushy - soppy romantic sagas with tonnes of glycerine thrown-in, or the girl and boy love each other and sprint through a hurdle race to happily ever after, or the teen-angst movies with jealous boyfriends and girlfirends. I am talking about romance that leaves you breathless and lighthearted, that leaves you with an indescribable feeling, with butterflies in your stomach and sometimes a dull ache in your heart. I am talking of something that is both innocent and seductive and you can't stop smiling long after the movie has finished. There are very few movies like that.

Chungking Express is one of them. I felt this light-hearted and in-love in a non-soppy way when i watched Amelie. Now these two films are different, very different but very similar in the way they leave you feeling long after the show is over.

ChungKing Express is the story of four very different characters and their parallel running love stories. The first story is that of Cop 223, He Qiwu (Takeshi Kaneshiro - eye candy for women). He is a plainclothes policeman who pines for an ex-girlfriend, May - who left him after 5yrs of being together. They broke off on 1st April, so he decides to let the joke run for a month untill 1st May when he turns 25. Untill then he buys a can of pineapple with a 1st May expiry date. Everyday. May likes pineapples. On 1st May, 223 comes to terms with the fact that May is not coming back and finishes off the pineapples. All 30 cans of them. He then decides to fall in love with the first woman he sets his eyes on. His ice-breaker line is "do you like pineapples?" asked in four different languages. Now this woman turns out to be one mysterious woman (played by Brigitte Lin). So mysterious that we are never told her name and never get to see her eyes. She is always in a raincoat, sunglasses and a blonde wig. She is one tough cookie who rules over the seedy corridors of ChungKing Mansions, full of south asian men and is into smuggling of drugs and the likes. She carries a gun and shoots at the drop of hat. Needless to say, this match does not work, it's not even a match. But this mysterious woman leaves 223 with a memory that will last him a lifetime. He ends up reflecting, if memories had an expiry date he would wish for them to last for centuries.

The second story is that of uniformed Cop 663 (Tony Leung - an awesome actor!). He, like 223 is yet to get over an ex. An airhostess, who leaves him with a letter that says change of flight and a boarding pass with cancelled stamped on it. Along with his house keys. When he is home alone, he speaks to the soft toys, the tattered rag, the bar of soap, her air-hostess uniform. He talks to them. He is still trying to get over her. And while he is getting over her, Faye (Faye Wong - an amazing debut) falls for him - silently. Faye works at the snack bar Midnight Express (which is the common factor linking the characters 223 and 663, both frequent this place). She is a dreamer, who dreams of going to California and listens to 'California Dreaming'. Loud. Because it helps her not think. But 663 doesn't notice any of this. He doesn't notice anything when she quietly enters his life and his home. She cleans his house, changes his bar of soap, buys new shirts, new slippers for him, gets him new rags, goldfish, looks for long strands of hair on his bed...she does all this everyday without his knowledge. He can feel that his life is changing but he doesn't know why and how. There is something incredibly romantic and lovely about this bit and i totally fell in love with how Faye takes over his life without his knowledge! You see she does all this for she is in love with him, in her own way. Acknowledgement doesn't matter to her.

Like all WongKarWai movies, this one has a very definite character and mood. The camera and the movie moves at a feverish pace. It's restless and impatient, much like HongKong. It takes you on a race at an exciting pace and you are left intoxicated. The visuals are stunning as well. The dingy, cramped up holes of ChungKing Mansions, the lanes bylanes of Central and Lan Kwai Fong couldn't have been captured better. You get to see HongKong from some very interesting angles and always with an inherent dynamism.

Despite being a romantic movie with only four main characters and two parallel running love stories, this is not a simple movie. The genius of WongKarWai lies in how he narrates the story. At first it seems simple. When you watch it the second time, you start noticing things. It's the subtlety that steals the show. I like the way he subtely introduces the characters of the second story while the first is still running. We see a glimpse of each of the characters from the second story, the airhostess, Faye, 663 while we are still with He Qiwu and his heartache. Or for that matter the themes of Canned food, Expiry dates and Boarding Passes that run throughout the movie. It's far more intricate and deceptive than it seems and therein lies the beauty of this movie. It's like one of those mosaic floors of old mansions where you would find something new everytime you had a look...something subtle and hidden, but something that makes the mosaic so much more interesting, everytime you discover it.

As i sip my wine and write this while listening to Faye Wong's take on Dreams, i still have that feeling in my stomach and i want to move the way Faye does on 'California Dreaming'. And i realise whatever i have written here can never do justice to the beauty of this movie.

I am a happy bunny and so we have some new songs!

2005-06-03T12:44:00.000+08:00

Timid and attractive, the Rabbits of the Chinese Zodiac tend to act more like bunnies, whether they like it or not! This Sign is extremely popular and has a wide circle of family and friends. Its compassionate nature leads it to be very protective of those it holds dear, but where romance is concerned, the Rabbit's sentimentality can lead it to idealize relationships. The sweet, sensitive Rabbit often ends up giving more of itself to a partner than is realistic or healthy. The good news is, when this Sign goes off-balance, the Rabbit's core group of friends and its stable home life help bring it back to center.
The Rabbit is a rather delicate Sign that needs a solid base in order to thrive. Lacking close, supportive friends and family, the Rabbit might just break down in tears at the first sign of conflict. Emotional upsets in this Sign's life can even lead to physical illnesses. Rabbits dislike arguments and other conflict and will try anything to avoid a fight; this results in something of a pushover nature. Rabbits can also lapse into pessimism and may seem stuck in life -- often to mask their insecure natures. Rabbits tend to move through life's lessons at their own, rather contemplative pace; it's a waste of time to become exasperated with this Sign's seeming disinterest in facing its problems and conquering them.
With the right partner -- meaning someone whose high principles won't allow it to take advantage of this sensitive, giving Sign -- the Rabbit can make an incredibly loving and protective partner or family member. Rabbits love to entertain at home and always make sure their house is comfortable and tastefully-furnished. What Rabbits need most is a stronger sense of self-worth and the security that comes with it. Their discerning natures, coupled with some hard-won assertiveness, will help these happy creatures go far.

The most compatible match for a Rabbit is the Goat or the Pig.

Which one are you?

------

My soundblox is back in action. I am happy! :-)

Have posted a few new songs. Assorted.

Mong Zhong Ren by Faye Wong :
This is a cantonese number from the Wong Kar Wai movie ChungKing Express. I need to write a post on this movie ! It's a lovely movie...am still under it's spell. It's basically the Cantonese version of Dreams by Cranberries.

Mong = Dream, Zhong = Inside, Ren = Person. Person in your Dream :-)

Rest of them are hindi numbers:
Lamhe DJ mix (yes i listen to these as well :D), Yaaron by Kay Kay (i love this one), Nahin Saamne Tu by AR Rahman from the movie Taal (i love this one too), Dilse Re from Dilse, Bulla ki Jaana Main Kaun by Rabbi.

Enjoy! :-)

Of tiny little toes and fingers

2005-06-01T15:31:00.000+08:00

I was out grocery shopping today when i saw this man with a baby. Nothing exceptional about it, except that this man was a heavy built, bald headed guy with both his arms covered with tattoos. While this baby like all babies looked extremely sweet and innocent. The visual contrast was just too amazing!

I have often wondered what kind of mother will i make, that is if i ever become one in the first place. I am not particularly the motherly kind and somehow i have never visualised myself as a mother, i don't know why. Maybe it's the rebellious streak in me which abhors the general notion that fulfillment as a woman and motherhood are tied together. I sometimes feel like comforting women who are unhappy at not being mothers. I know i can perhaps never understand their pain, but i feel like telling them that's not all that makes a woman complete. That's not the end of the world. There are so many other ways to feel complete, its more important to feel complete as a person without the tags of motherhood, daughterhood, sisterhood or wifehood attached to us. Many a times, motherhood is a pressure thrust upon women by the society. Especially a society like ours. It's seen as a natural progression to marriage. And i detest this attitude! I can be happy without being a mother. I certainly will not have a child because everyone else expects that from me, or to save my relationship or for that matter bind my partner to me. My reasons for giving birth will be very different from these. Then again that's the rebellious in me speaking.

But the strange thing is, i get along really well with babies. Most of them take an instant liking to me. I guess i come across as very non-threatening! Stranger still, I have been told that i will make a good mother. Possibly because i have a lot of patience. I am not sure what that means though - being a good mother. Or what all being a good mother entails. But what i love most about babies, is knitting cute little booties, caps, ponchos for them. All the babies in the family and of friends have had one of those from me. I totally love that. And this is perhaps the closest i have come to the conventional notions of motherhood!

And then i think what if i actually end up being a mother. What would i want, a boy or a girl? I guess i would want a boy first. A skinny little boy with sparkling eyes and tons of energy! A son for the dad. To bond as men. On shaving techniques, beer binges, girls, what's cool and what's not and all other guy things. Things that i don't even know about.

Then i would want a girl for myself :-) And she will be my friend. We will bond like only women can. I'll start her with fairy tales and move on to good literature as she grows up. But somewhere in between i'll give her 'Mills & Boons' to read. Call me shallow if you want, but romance is the life blood. I'll tell her about the birds and the bees. We'll talk about men and boyfriends, just as the son and dad will talk about girls and more girls. I'll tell her all about my crushes and my heartbreaks. We'll talk fashion, art, movies, music, what's hot and what's not...everything under the sun. But most of all, i will ask her to be herself, believe in herself. I will tell her there's nothing more attractive than confidence and nothing more beautiful than compassion.

And in the midst of all this i will teach them the importance of hard work and money. That things don't come easy in life. That you have to work hard and earn everything and then work hard to maintain everything. I will never stop them from dreaming. Never ask them to paint the apple red...they can paint it anything they like. It's their dream, their apple. All this is easier said than done, and maybe too idealistic and simplified...but this is how i feel at this point. Honestly.

Somewhere down the line we will falter, make huge mistakes only to get up and start again like we do with everything else in life. I am also aware that they will eventually drift away, find their own place in this world. And i will not stop them, for i have done the same. Besides this is one relationship you can never float too far away from. I don't know how good a mother i will be. I will start as a friend...

New songs added!

2005-05-31T01:19:00.000+08:00

Since i am back in the blogging world, I will post 4 more songs!

I already have Fred Astaire's version of 'Let's call the whole thing off' and Claressa Wilson's 'The way you look tonight'. So added Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald's version of 'Let's call the whole thing off' (Thanks Sanity Starved! - its a lovely number) and Frank Sinatra's version of 'The way you look tonight '(since you mentioned it sd and i remembered i have it!).

Also added Frank Sinatra's 'I've got you under my skin' & 'Somewhere beyond the sea'. :-)

---

Hi all

There's some problem with my soundblox. It's not picking up songs from my server. Have been busy with some stuff...hopefully it will get fixed on its own, otherwise will have a look at it later. Sorry about this!

tc all

Blocked blog - worse than blocked nose!

2005-05-30T01:31:00.000+08:00

I have been cut-off from the rest of the blogging world! I can't access anything with a '.blogspot.com' attached to it!! Now what did i do? These are just blogs, for god's sake, nothing illegal or indecent about these! Anyway, i was quite frustrated as i couldn't see anything all of yesterday. I can access blogger.com, even publish my posts...but can't see the published pages. Mine or anyone elses!

I figured i had to call the ISP guys. So after waiting all day for it to get fixed on its own, i attempted calling the ISP hotline. And it took me like what i thought 100 attempts to finally get through to a Customer Service officer. Mr.Leo. Nice guy, helpful. Except that it again took me what i thought 100 years of painfully spelling out 'http://aparnabanerjee.blogspot.com'! 'A for Apple', 'P for Portugal', 'A for Apple again'.....i almost blurted out 'S for Sex', but better sense prevailed and i said 'S for Site'! At times like these, i wish i had a simpler name!

Anyway, we (me and Leo) struggled through out spelling exercise and then i got onto explaining what the problem was. I can't access my blogpages, or anyone elses. I can access everything else! Mr. Leo finally understood what i was ranting about and very politely told me he will get in touch with the engineer who will get in touch with me either the same day or the following day.

But they were quite prompt, the engineer called me back after about half an hour. This time it was Mr. Dennis. So i explained to him, what the problem was and he very patiently explained to me that it wasn't from their side. He said that blogger.com website is on a different IP address and all the published pages are on a different one. Sometimes during maintenance, they block certain IP addresses (and it had to be this one!!!). So he said i should check back after one or two days, maybe i will be able to access my blog then. Basically not a problem from the ISP guys. So i am just hoping that Mr.Dennis is right and this is a temporary thing.

Went to the local cafe yesterday to access the blogs and have a look at mine, that's how addicted i have become. Hopefully i will get my eyes back sometime soon!

Till then all of you, have fun! :D

It's the rain again!

2005-05-28T10:41:00.000+08:00

Somehow i end up writing too many of these rainy posts. But it has been raining past few days and i 'feel' the most when its raining. And i 'feel' like writing, singing, or listening when i 'feel' the most.

It was raining hard (the kind i like) all evening, but i had to go out and get a few things. I kept waiting for it to mellow down, but my impatience took over for a change. Picked up my umbrella and went out to face the lashing water and the occassional thunder. For some reason, i feel liberated when i'm out in such weather...i feel free, im not sure why. So i walked in the rain in my blue jeans, orange cotton shirt, holding a blue umbrella. But not alone. There were a few more jeans, shirts and umbrellas braving the outpour.

I made my way around the miniature lakes on the footpath that i would have jumped into if i were a 5yr old, walking ahead followed by a bunch of giggling, shouting college kids. I had figured the lower half of my jeans would be wet by the time i returned. And I was wrong. Suddenly out of nowhere i found myself bathed in this huge splash of water, thanks to a double-decker bus. So all of us, me and a few of the kids behind me were pretty much soaked, Bridget Jones style (those who have seen The Edge of Reason will know)! I was a dark blue jeans and dark orange shirt now. The kids started giggling even more and for some weird reason i was happy!

No i didn't turn back and change. I went ahead, soaked almost all over. I didn't get soaked to skin in the rain. But i sure did get drenched...thanks to the rain! :D

All That Jazz

2005-05-26T15:03:00.000+08:00

New songs. Jazz this time. :-)

All That...Jazz

> Laura Fygi Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
> Louis Armstrong La Vie En Rose
> Natalie Cole Tell Me All About It
> Ronny Jordan So What
> Claressa Wilson The Way You Look Tonight
> Fred Astaire Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
> Dee Dee Bridgewater Let's Do It
> Silje Nergaard The Waltz

Beat this!

2005-05-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

Got this as an email attachment from a friend...I'm not sure how true this is, but this is the best one i have ever come across. And even if it isn't, whoever concocted this sure has a sense of humour! enjoy! :D

---

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1.30 - 3.30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs, of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

---

And all i have been thinking of is how to improve my CV!! :D

Lipsum

2005-05-25T07:19:00.000+08:00

I think all designers (web and print) are aware of 'Lorem Ipsum'. Many a times while designing, the client is unable to provide us with content. There's a basic brief, a target audience, expectations on the look-and-feel, flowcharts and information on page/content distribution. But no real content, words that will fill up content spaces.

Word-wise designers can come up with fillers for taglines. But trying to think up copy for the content is a different ball game altogether and many a times a waste of time when you need to concentrate on the design. Filling up spaces with words like 'content here' is not an option. It ends up resembling a pattern and very different from what a chunk of actual copy should look like.

Thats when 'Lorem Ipsum' comes to our rescue. Lorem Ipsum is basically the dummy text of the print and typesetting industry and has made its way into the virtual world. It's cool how you can generate paragraphs, sentences, lists of Lorem Ipsum.

So here goes:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Vestibulum nec est nec purus rhoncus feugiat. Sed interdum dolor. Duis magna. Nunc arcu purus, semper et, dignissim a, facilisis eu, diam. Quisque sit amet arcu. Ut accumsan nunc a pede. Duis augue. Ut mi diam, viverra nec, tempus eu, tincidunt elementum.

Got that?!! :D

Get your own Lorem Ipsum here: http://www.lipsum.com

You made my day

2005-05-25T05:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you are going through a low phase and have lost confidence in yourself, all you need is a little pep-up and everything falls into place. I have been going through a phase of self-doubt. I was once told by my far more confident-half that "Moon, you just need to believe in yourself more." And it's true, i need to believe in myself more. And a tiny bit of reassurance does it for me. And i am raring to take on this world! :D

Something like that happened today. I was chatting with a friend (my ex-boss that i talked about earlier). And here's what made me sit up straight with my head held high, chin up:

Corrinne: Yeah... but one thing's for sure... you're really a very creative person. I'm saying this not because you're my friend, but because i really see those sparks of creativity. You know, like in your posting on the what you are - your dislikes and likes, i loved how you used different coloured fonts!

Me: yeah?!! thank you!!! :)

Corrinne: I thought that it's lovely how not only did you use words, but also visuals to complement and convey the juxtaposition.

Me: Thank you!!! you made my day!!! :)

And thank you to everyone who has given me even a little bit of reassurance, my friends, my family. You all make my day!

---

Mood:
Hopeful

I'm listening to:
Bob Marley - No, woman, no cry.....Everything's gonna be alright!.....

Yeah, everything's gonna be alright :-)

The Sith Sense

2005-05-24T09:15:00.000+08:00

Challenge Vader

Check this one out. It's fun! I tried to cheat it thrice, but didn't work! Have fun :D

What does your birthday month say about you? - for girls!

2005-05-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

MARCH:
You have an attractive personality and are sexy and affectionate.You tend to be quite shy and reserved and very secretive which shows in your look. A naturally honest person, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others and love to serve and help others. You are easily angered but this doesn't effect your trustworthiness although you do believe in revenge if people mistreat you. You are appreciative and return a lot of kindness when people treat you right. Observant and assesses others. You love to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. :D

What's yours?

-----

I have noticed that i get along really well with Aquarian women. I seem to have a perfect equation with them. They are perhaps all that i am not and what i would like to be - confident, focussed even though a little bit eccentric. At this point i need these two the most, confidence and focus.

So as i was saying i get along really well with Aquarian women, starting with my mother. My best friend, a cousin, a cousin-in-law who i am closer to now than anyone else in the family. My ex-boss with whom i share a perfect non-encroaching professional-personal relationship. And a friend here who i could uncannily tell was an Aquarian in our first meeting!

-----

These are testy times...and my mind is hyperactive and all over the place. Inconsequential, random blogging helps.
*Listening to - Hotel Paper, Michelle Branch*

Shutterbug

2005-05-23T07:26:00.000+08:00

Came across these two photography websites today. Different in style and treatment but both very interesting.

Mark Ayrault
This is a professional photographer's website with some beautiful close-up shots of flowers and plants. The website itself is not too impressive (it's in flash though), but the photographs are beautiful.

3jorn
This is an ameteur photographer's website. The style is very different from the other one. It's more real, at the same time quite impressive. I like the composition and framing of the shots. The best thing is, for a change we don't have a flash website. And yes, this comes from someone who designs in flash most of the time!

Enjoy! :-)

The Office

2005-05-22T14:07:00.000+08:00

I bought the 'Christmas Special' edition dvd of the comedy series 'The Office'. The last one of the series. For those of you who haven't watched The Office and who like good comedies, this is a MUST WATCH.

The office is a fly-on-the-wall comedy. It's fashioned as a documentary that follows the goings-on in a Wernham Hogg office and the life of its employees, more specifically the Regional Manager David Brent (a brilliant performance from Ricky Gervais).

David Brent is a character which is very easy to believe. We all have come across a David Brent at least once in our lives. And perhaps there's a little bit of David Brent in all of us. He is the boss from hell. An extremely insecure, arrogant and chauvinistic man in his late 30s. But actually David Brent is not such a bad guy altogether. Besides he keeps you in splits with his over the top attempts at showcasing his sense of humour, which no one gets.

Another character that will keep you entertained, is Gareth (again a brilliant performance by Mackenzie Crook). He is the scarecrow-resembling character, who is a bit of a weirdo but somehow always manages to score with women (but of course that's what HE says). And he is very very possessive of his stapler and anything else thats on his desk.

What works for The Office is that it's so believable. And thankfully there are no mandatory chorus laughs after every scene. Everything is just right. Even the exaggerations are just right. There's a little bit of sadness, a little bit of romance. It's one of those cases where everything is just the right mix...not too bland, nor slapstick. And the best thing is they never stretched it till it got holes in the middle. It's just 2 seasons and a Christmas Special. So it ends just at the right time!

I remember one of Ricky Gervais's appearances on the Late Show with David Letterman. David Letterman compliments him saying - "This is possibly the best comedy show i have ever seen!" To which Ricky replies with an astonished expression on his face - "Possibly?!!" :D

A must must watch indeed. This goes into my collection.

Get familiar with the office here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/

Can we be 'just friends'?

2005-05-22T07:39:00.000+08:00

I think my blogging-drought is over at long last and i am thinking again. Even though the subject is borrowed, i am intrigued again. Which is a good thing.

Sometime back i came across this subject on, i think Dreamcatcher's blog. And today while reading the newspaper this caught my attention...again. I found myself lapping up the article with some interest. My curiosity-meter had notched up after a long while. So i had to write something despite this being a much talked about and argued over subject. And a little bit of humour does immense good to health.

So the question is, can men and women ever be 'just friends'? In other words is a platonic relationship possible between a man and a woman. This question is applicable to the men and men / women and women pairings as well, but lets stick to the straight category for now.

Now this article puts across this question to young singles (a motley mix of expats and locals) of Hong Kong, who frequent bars with drink buddies and movies with movie buddies. These people are young, working, single and mingle a lot. The reactions to this question are nothing short of interesting and something to... argue on.

As a woman, i would like to think that a platonic relationship between the two sexes is not an impossibility. What's an impossibility is to be attracted to every man/woman you come across in your lifetime. All this of course excludes the not applicable age groups - but then not too long back Collin Farrel allegedly begged for some carnal favours from a 70 yr old! *shudder* On second thoughts are they really not applicable ages? Maybe not.

But lets talk about normal scenarios. Logic and common-sense says that it's not possible to be attracted to every specimen of the opposite sex you interact with. Attraction is a complex thing. Sometimes even an Adonis can loose all charm once he opens his mouth (same goes for women), and on the other hand a pleasing personality works wonders for attraction. Besides there are so many other factors that contribute to attractiveness - bank balance, a convertible, a penthouse and the likes! :D

Jokes aside, I would like to believe 'just friendships' are a certain possibility between two mature adults. One can be great friends with a man/woman without feeling even an iota of attraction. It's not like the teenage when crushes happen to you like pimples - one appears before the other subsides!

Sometimes it's just a connection that you have with someone and you don't think if they are men or women. It's just good clean friendship. Sometimes you come across good people in life who you want to have as friends irrespective of gender. Then again, sometimes it's smart to keep friendships and attraction apart. Sometimes attractions can end good friendships. This is of course a woman's point of view. I would like to think most 'mature' men think the same way. But 'Mature Men' are a rare breed! And before i get crucified for uttering that, i made that comment based on what one of the men in the article has to say:
Of course i have girls who are just friends and nothing more. They're fat.

So you see i wasn't entirely wrong about maturity and men! :D

-----
In the movie Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal [Harry] and Meg Ryan [Sally] discuss weather men and women can be just friends.

Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes i do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes i do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No. What I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail them, too.
-----

Thankfully not all men are Harry! :D

* When Harry Met Sally excerpt taken from: South China Morning Post *

Creep

2005-05-22T01:33:00.000+08:00

Okay since some people are such creeps (including me!), this one gets added to the stack. And i wonder why my New Year resolutions never work! :D

I know you Radiohead fans must already have this one with you. But what the heck! I get to post something! :D

Rolling Stone review
Flashing a song called "Creep" as a musical ID takes cheek, but then, everything about these Brits is unabashed. On their debut, the swagger affected by every arch-Anglo since the Kinks is already in full effect. Three guitars (and bass) and a singer whose narcissistic angst rivals Morrissey's ("I will not control myself!" Thom e. Yorke screams on "Vegetable," and on "Prove Yourself" he mourns, "I'm better off dead"), these five Oxford lads come on extreme. What elevates them to fab charm is not only the feedback and strumming fury of their guitarwork Ð and the dynamism of their whisper-to-a-scream song structures Ð which recall the Who by way of the early Jam, but the way their solid melodies and sing-along choruses resonate pop appeal. On "Blow Out" they savage a bossa-nova intro with sheer noise; "Thinking About You" is bitter folk with acoustic guitars soundly pummeled; and the rest of "Pablo Honey" is equally surprising. If they don't implode from attitude overload, Radiohead warrant watching.

Review taken from: http://www.greenplastic.com/

Thoda Angrezi ho jaye?

2005-05-19T05:13:00.000+08:00

Okay i have a confession to make. I am going through an extremely shallow phase where i don't have anything to talk about, introspective or silly. But the problem is i have gotten into the habit of blogging and a stagnating blog gives me the heeby-jeebies. I should get out of this addiction, untill then i will continue posting :D

Now since i didn't have anything to talk about, i thought let me piggyback on my soundblox and post some more songs. This time english. I know there are lots of Pehla Nasha fans out there...promise i will ressurrect it again on this blog. But let's have some good english numbers for now. But on a more practical note i don't think i can continue to be this extravagant with my song postings, i will run out of them very soon at this rate! After this one, the deck will be shuffled fortnightly. But for now...enjoy! :D

Dancing In The Moonlight by Toploader - This perhaps is the most known song from the british group Toploader. I love this number...it's smooth and very difficult not to move on this one. More info on Toploader here: http://www.angelfire.com/music4/toploader/

Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer - This is from the 'Best of' Collection...i totally love this one. The voice, guitar...i can imagine a swing, backyard, grass, afternoons...
Listen to more of Sixpense here: http://www.sixpence-ntr.com/home_content.html

It Ain't Over Till It's Over by Lenny Kravitz - Now i don't have to talk about this one. It's an all time favourite!
Get more of Lenny at this very well-designed website: http://www.lennykravitz.com/

Please Stay by Kylie Minogue - I am a Kylie fan. I am a fan of her transition from the 'Locomotion' girl to the 'Red Blooded Woman'. She is beautiful, smart, sexy and has the ability to evolve. My best wishes to her as she fights the breast cancer.
Her website has been temporarily disabled...still here goes: http://www.kylie.com/

Feel by Robbie Williams - I think i had mentioned somewhere before that i am a big Robbie Williams fan. He has an amazing voice not to mention he is an awesome performer. His bad boy image is all the more attractive apart from his boyish good looks! In fact i remember on his Singapore tour, he was categorically asked by the authorities not to resort to any of his crazy antics (flashing his butt etc). So he was more or less well-behaved :D

He has a damn good voice. He can sing without instruments and it will still sound good - that's the measure of a good voice according to me. This particular song is a favourite of mine. He infact cried on this one while performing live (can't remember where).
Get more of Robbie here: http://www.robbiewilliams.com

Achilles Heel by Toploader - Let me end with another Toploader number. Nice one this!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Added five more to go for a fortnight!

Crawling by Linkin Park - I dig Linkin Park and i dig their videos more. Awesome animations. Linkin Park website here: http://www.linkinpark.com/index.php

There There by Radiohead: Radiohead were the originals. Coldplay were said to be Radiohead wannabes, quite unfairly so. Since then Coldplay have arrived on their own. But i like Radiohead as well. Get to know them well here: http://www.greenplastic.com/

After The Rain Has Fallen by Sting: He is one of the best voices on this planet and one of my favourites, besides being an expert in certain things Tantric. One of my friends in Delhi revealed quite excitedly that she saw Sting in Dharamshala. I went to Dharamshala and kept my eyes open - just in case i get lucky. But i didn't. So i make do with his songs instead! Get stung here: http://www.sting.com/home.php

Iris by GooGooDolls: Another all time favourite. A friend of mine used to sing this damn well. More GooGooDolls at: http://www.googoodolls.com/main.html

Shakespeare in love by Layla Kaylif: This one is a beautiful number sung beautifully by Layla Kaylif, from the movie Shakespeare in Love. Joseph Fiennes who plays Shakespeare is damn handsome. What's interesting is that, Shakespeare in Love and Shekhar Kapur's Elizabeth released around the same time and both starred Joseph Fiennes. I don't like Gweneth Paltrow much, but i like her voice. She has a very nice voice.

Okay i shall stop posting any more songs, for a while. And this time i mean it!! :D

New songs

2005-05-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

O Sanam by Lucky Ali is one of my favourites. The sound was fresh and different from everything else I had heard. And the pyramids looked awesome...left a lasting impression on me. I can listen to this one any number of times...

Chalo Tumko Lekar Chalen from Jism is another one that I like. In fact I like it more than Jadu Hai Nasha hai.Bipasha looks awesome (i love what she wears in this song). And it can't get any hotter than John Abraham in bollywood!

Neeley Neeley Ambar Par. Who else could have sung it but Kishore Kumar. This one oozes romance! But I'm not sure who the music director is. It's either Bappi lahiri or Kalyanji Anandji. Love the guitar...[Latest info from sd - music director is Kalyanji Anandji!]

Pehla Nasha. Now this was the time when I (like the rest of the female population of India) wished it was me instead of Pooja Bedi, Aamir Khan was kissing! The way it was choreographed/picturised (Farah Khan) is also very interesting and a first in bollywood. The visual if you notice is in slow motion, but the audio is at normal speed. While shooting, the actors would say the words at double the speed while acting it out normally, so that when it's shown in slow motion, it's in sync with the audio!

Rising from Ash(es)

2005-05-15T01:30:00.000+08:00

Ash goes from garish

to elegant sexy!

Random

2005-05-14T08:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes life seems like a run towards the horizon. You see it's there but you never reach it.

Sanity Starved's post quotes from John Lennon's song - Life is what happens to you, While you are busy making other plans. I don't know...life has always happened to me and i did not plan anything. Just let life happen to me. I haven't yet boarded my train of 365s...have just watched it chugging along. The only plan that i have is to have enough money when i'm old. I wouldn't want to depend on anyone.

Life is erratic. Can't bear anymore of it from people i interact with. Solid, reliable is a reassurance i wouldn't want to be without. And thank god (or whatever it is) for letting those pillars stay around me. Everything else can change. Everything else will change. Everything else is kaleidoscopic.

Two steps forward. Cautious. Wait-a-bit. Take two more steps. It has always worked for me. Things that have happened fast have always been a flash-in-the-pan. Expectations are also daunting. It's far better if you start at a normal pace and grow gradually, instead of euphoria followed by disinterest. Steady is good.

Arrogance is offensive. Quiet confidence is impressive.

A pair is good. A pair is beautiful. But solo is important. Important for survival. For what will you do when the pair no longer exists?

Sound Bytes

2005-05-11T09:53:00.000+08:00

I have added a new feature (check the side bar, below Archive links!). Will be posting songs that i like once in a while. Keep checking!

Think it will work better for broadband users. Also listen to the songs with headphones on, laptop/PC speakers are not good enough, methinks!

I know the Box doesn't look that great aesthetically, i did what i could for now. Will keep tweaking the look in future. But then there's only so much i can do to change the look, the source-code lies with Laszlo and i am not a champion programmer. But i thought it's a great feature and it's free! :D

Okay now the songs. If you notice there are two tamil songs - Rasaathi & Vaseegara. Thanks to my South Indian friends i have an apetite for good South Indian music even though i don't understand a word! Rasaathi is a Rahman number from Thiruda Thiruda. Those were the days when we used to dig Rahman big time. The best thing about this song is that it's just vocals - chorus and Shahul Hamid's - and guitar. That's all...but it's an awesome number!

Vaseegara is another number i love. From the movie Minnale. Picturised on Madhavan (the slim version whom i liked quite a lot! - unfortunately most South Indian heroes expand horizontally after stardom!) and Reema Sen (yes, a bong again!). They made it in hindi as well, starring Diya Mirza and Madhavan. But somehow the hindi one doesn't sound as good!

Have fun! :D

*The music posted here is for listening pleasure only and not for any commercial gain.*

11:23 AM

2005-05-11T02:23:00.001+08:00

Ever thought you would see Shahrukh in a humungous Rajasthaani pagdi and moustache? I guess not! :-)

But it's refreshing to see him different from the Rajs and Rahuls he plays in quick succession. Although quite truthfully its far less torturous watching Shahrukh 'Rahul' Khan any number of times than to watch Salman 'Prem' Khan! My apologies to all Salman fans. :-)

But heres a warning for those who expect modern, peppy numbers from this movie. You will be dissapointed. The flavour of this soundtrack is distinctly Classical and Folk. So don't expect Bunty Aur Bubly to take a ride here. Having said that, this is a soundtrack which screams 'different'. Bollywood music is fast becoming less monotonous!

The best track of the album is of course 'Dheere Jalna' rendered beautifully by Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal. This one has an instrumental version as well which is again very nice to the ears.

Khali Hai Tere Bina is a slow number by Hariharan and Bela Shinde, a sad but a very nice number.

Kangnaa Re is a fusion of classical and folk tunes. It's nice and predictable. But lets be fair, not every track will sound like Dheere Jalna.

Laaga Re Jal Laaga reminded me of Ghanan Ghanan from Lagaan. They are similar in treatment and about rain.

Minnat Kare again is a fusion of folk and classical. An all girls number and nice.

For some reason, Phir Raat Kati reminded me of some song from some Govinda movie. I don't remember which one but as i listened to this one, this other song kept buzzing in my mind. Now this one goes folk all out. It's rajasthani folk music all the way. Not exactly my cup of tea, but keeps the folksy flavour of the album intact.

Personally i loved Dheere Jalna and Khali Hai Tere Bina the best. Like i said before, not everyone will like this. But then perhaps that was not the intention in the first place.

The story itself is interesting; based on a folk tale. A ghost falls in love with a bride who has been abandoned by her greedy rich merchant husband. Hmmm...should be an interesting watch!

Listen to the songs here:http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/movie_name.7893/

Paheli - Solved?

2005-05-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

Nostalgia

2005-05-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

It's pouring outside. It's almost dark and i can hear the thunder. And i feel a tiny bit nostalgic. I dreamt of home yesterday. Home and moments that i have left behind. I know this is a diversion from the 'current mood of sillyness' which i had enthusiastically proclaimed will continue for some time, but i don't particularly feel silly at this moment. Guess it's the rain.

I would like to think, i have come a long way. A long way from the giggly, naive teenager that i was. On being prodded once, Chitra told me what she thought of me when we first met. 'Freshly hatched egg' was what she said she thought of me! Did i come across as that naive?!! It seems i did! But then that was long back. My friends have seen my journey from 'Freshly hatched egg' to what i am today. Someone has always been there with me in my worst moments.

Somehow Kavita and me never talked about fashion and accessories and the usual girly stuff that is the main topic of discussion amongst most girls that age. Perhaps it was because of her age. She is 5yrs my senior. But we surprisingly connected well! Maybe i wasn't that naive after all! I was the youngest amongst my friends and in a way it worked for me. We had more to talk about. More than what i would have if i had been with girls my age. I remember the grand plans that we made, on our bus rides back home. Plans about saving up money and taking a euro trip, just us girls. Travelling and not resorting to a cooped-up existence is something that i dreamt of even then.

My friends have been witness to my goof-ups and embarrassments as well. I remember this incident on Kavita's wedding. She was getting married to a bengali. All of us - our whole batch took a trip down to Lucknow and i have hardly had so much fun...ever! Because it was a Bengali wedding, we had a 'Bashor Ghor'. On the wedding night, all friends and family gather around and spend the night singing, dancing - having a good time basically. Now we had some singers in our gang - the girl's side. Jeevan was there with his guitar, and of course yours truly had to sing. I could sing quite well back then, it was customary for me to sing in gatherings of this kind those days. But that was long back. It's different now. Anyway as i was singing, and i reckon i must have been singing well enough, one of kavita and her husbands friends started tossing money on me! And my obvious reaction was that of shock! I had never expected anything like that and i had seen things like this in movies only and that too 'you know in what' settings. I was embarrassed. I was very very embarrassed. But i continued singing - later i learnt that it's not an uncommon practice in lucknow. It's part of their culture and is a token of appreciation. I was relieved. There are countless such moments that we have shared. Countless nerve-wracking moments on being proposed, little crushes that are so much part of being young.

Some years later, they were there by my side at my wedding. Chitra and Kavita, both dressed in red border saris - perhaps they thought it appropriate for a bengali wedding! But there was no throw-away money this time around :D

I am happy that i am in touch with all three of them. Chitra i chat with almost everyday. She has been with me through my darkest moments. I meet up with Kavita and Preeti whenever i'm in Delhi. I guess our friendships survived because we were there for each other all along, but we never owned each other. Each one of us is living a different life, but each one of us will somehow or the other always be there in each others lives.

I got this really nice email from Kavita after i met up with her in delhi this time around. She wrote:

Hi Appu

I keep looking at the photos of us, its really nice. Its nice to feel that time has passed and some things (like u just dont change).

I thought i have changed a lot. But perhaps i haven't - inside.

As i sit inside writing this while it's pouring outside, i can't help but remember this incidence.

It was my 18th b'day. Kavita and me stayed nearby so the days she brought her moped i would take a ride with her. But there was no moped that day. So we had to take a walk from our Art School to the bus stop, which was some way. And all of a sudden it started pouring! There we were two friends walking in the pouring rain. Me in my blue embroidered salwaar kameez. Bouquets in my hands. Lots of roses. Lots of cards inside my bag. And soaked to the skin. Walking in the downpour, not a care in the world, not even bothering to take shelter! I remember saying that the rain was a birthday gift from the heavens above! I have always liked rain - the one that lashes out and pours.

It's raining pretty much the same now, but i haven't taken a walk in the rain in a long while. I haven't been soaked to the skin in rain, in a long while. I would love to though. Some other time.

Another inane post - but i had to post it!

2005-05-07T13:00:00.000+08:00

Since i am in an inane/ridiculous post spree, and gladly so after some very introspective ones, i thought i should continue with the current mood of sillyness. And so here goes.

I indulged in my staple diet of tabloid news today. Hollywood to be precise. Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake getting married? or not. Jessica Simpson all over Fred Durst. Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston separation. But then hollywood (and our very own bollywood) has seen enough of these break-ups and hook-ups. And lets not talk about sad things, lets talk funny. So as i was going through all this, i came across something very funny. It seems after...

Bennifer - part I
Bennifer - part II

its time for some Brangelina!
(whoever comes up with these terms?!!)

Both voted the prettiest of them all!

Now it can't get hotter than Angelina - Bee stung or not! Tattooed or not! I would think perhaps only Natalie Portman can pack that much punch when she grows up, she's still quite young. And like Angelina she is also a Gemini (and i still haven't gotten over her and Clive Owen's spell in Closer). And Brad Pitt is a pretty boy indeed! Second only to George Clooney i think. Although i'm sure more than half the female population of the civilised world will disagree with me.

So here's to the pretty girl who wants to adopt a kid from each religion and the pretty boy who wants to be a dad desperately! Here's to Brangelina!

I spotted a Spotted Dick!

2005-05-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

Yes, you read it right! Let me explain how...

A few days back i was watching one of those stupid Reality-TV series (but i still watch them!). This one had a few American girls competing for the title of 'The American Princess', wherein they had to go through 'rigorous' training in being ladylike. Basically how to walk-the-walk, talk-the-talk, eat-the-eat and look all dressed up and elegant, upper-story being empty...not a problem.

So in one of the sessions they were being tutored on table-manners by none other than Paul Burrell, Princess Diana's butler. While he was tutoring the girls on how to eat - which fork/spoon to use etc etc, in came this delicious looking thing. And he informed us (the girls and i) that it was the 'Spotted Dick'.

Come again...Spotted what? Me and the girls asked.

Yes you heard it right, 'Spotted Dick' he said, which simply put is a traditional pudding. Now that's some pudding!! :D

So that's how i spotted the Spotted Dick. And then i had to go into my google over-drive and spot it again!

So girls (and boys) here's the Spotted Dick recipe for you:

6 servings

8 oz self-raising flour
1 pn of salt
4 oz margarine
2 oz castor sugar (superfine)
4 oz to 6 oz sultanas (big-raisins)
6 tb water

1 - Have ready a sheet of foil or a double thickness of grease proof paper brushed with melted margarine.

2 - Make the pudding crust: Sieve the flour and the salt. Rub in the margarine. Add the sugar and sultanas. Mix in the water to make a soft dough.

3 - Turn out onto a floured board and form into a roll.

4 - Wrap loosely but securely in the grease proof paper or foil. Tie or seal the ends.

5 - Place in the steamer and cover tightly. Steam for 1.1/2 to 2 hours.

6 - Serve with hot custard sauce or sprinkle with castor sugar.

Variation: At stage 3: Put the mixture in a medium-sized (1.1/2 pint) pudding basin with a round of grease proof paper in the bottom and brush all round inside with melted margarine. Smooth the top. Cover with foil, or double grease proof paper brushed underneath with melted margarine and steam for 1.1/2 to 2 hours. Serve with hot Custard sauce or sprinkle with castor sugar.

[Recipe sourced from www.recipesource.com]

Those of you, who are familiar with Irish/English cuisine will be familiar with this dessert. Some more information:

The earliest recipes for spotted dick are from 1847. For non-British readers, "spotted dick" is a boiled suet pudding, with bits of dried fruit (usually raisins or currants) that (as already noted) look like little spots.

The Oxford Companion to Food comments that, strictly speaking, "spotted dick" is made by taking a flat sheet, spreading sugar and raisins on it, then rolling it up. A similar dessert is "spotted dog," a plain cylinder of suet paste with the raisins and currants and sugar stuck into it, so that the spots are visible on the outside. Both spotted dick and spotted dog were traditionally boiled (or even steamed) in a cloth, but nowadays they are usually baked.

The dessert is slightly different in Ireland. In Ireland in the late 1800s, the tradition of yeast-bread manufacture was not strong, so most breads were raised with bicarbonate of soda and an acid, rather than with yeast, and thus called soda breads. Thus, the spotted dick in Ireland is sweet soda bread, with sugar, currants, and raisins, and it's also called the spotted dog or railway cake.

[Info courtsey www.straightdope.com]

Have a great time errr...savouring some home cooked Spotted Dick. :D

05/05/05

2005-05-06T06:27:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine reminded me today was 05/05/05. I was like...oh really, wow! I didn't realise that!

And it was then that it struck me how much 'for granted' I take dates and time. I don't keep track of dates on a day to day basis. If you were to ask me off-hand what date it is, it would take me a wee bit more than normal to give you an answer. But I am good at remembering b'days of my friends and family. B'days and Sunsigns. :-)

Is it that in the end your life becomes a succession of 365 days? You don't even realise till one has turned into past and another one is staring you in the face.

In school, everytime I jotted down a new year on my notebook, it left me with bittersweet feelings. As juvenile as it seems now, I would find it difficult to let go of the past year. It left me with a faint sadness - as if I was letting go of something personal. Something that I owned and felt attached to. But the sweet of the bittersweet meant I was excited with the thought of new experiences, another year of growing up and one step closer to adulthood. But that was then. Teenage. When adulthood and emancipation were infinitely charming and exciting.

And this is now.

A few months back I went through the same feelings that I experienced while jotting-down the year on my school notebook. I knew I was hitting the big 3 soon. It was quite unbelieveble that I was crossing the threshold to the 30s. That I was leaving behind my 20s; a whole decade of being young. Funny how I had stopped thinking in terms of age once I crossed my teenage. But all of a sudden my third decade was not a thing of a blurred future. It was real, staring me in the face. I was a little sad...no honestly I was quite sad for sometime! But again the sweet of bittersweet came to my rescue (as did my friends and family), and I started seeing all the perks of being 30! I am so much more aware of myself. I think I understand people better. I hope I am more mature - a lot less of the girl in me, a lot more of the woman in me. I wouldn't want to loose the girl altogether though. And I can finally look down upon the 20 somethings with an air of 'I know it all'!! :D

Even then, I sometimes wonder how many more 365s do I have to go through. And should I just relax and see them go past me, one after the other. Or do I jump-in and run along? For some reason, I feel like being a spectator, for now. Tomorrow at some point I'm sure I would want to jump in. I wouldn't want to be left wondering in the end - the last 365, why didn't I jump-in after all?!

What colour are you?

2005-05-05T09:00:00.000+08:00

WINTER SKY

You were given rare combination of artistic creativity and financial know-how. It is a wonderful gift to be able to create your dreams while building a financial structure to support them. It is important that you share your talent and your wealth with others because it is the sharing that will bring you some of the most worthwhile blessings. Your personal color helps you stay centered. Wearing meditating or surrounding yourself with Winter Sky infuses your life with faith and magic.

So what colour are you?

*For the design conscious, don't skip the intro. It's well done, i like the flash transitions.* :-)

The potter's wheel

2005-05-03T13:58:00.000+08:00

The wheel spins into a blur. And your fingers caress the wet shapeless mound to give it shape and identity. Wet mud. Sensual. Your fingers are like a dancer's or a masseur's fingers, soft yet firm. You see contours emerging from this shapeless mound, much like a baby in the mother's womb. Just a little stress there, a different choreography of the fingers and you see a whole new form unfold before your eyes. The incredible feeling of creating something.

I have always wanted to learn pottery and i was happy that i could make that happen...finally. I risk sharing a few of my creations with the world at large. They are not the best ones, but they are special to me. They are my babies. Like all first good things, the first crush, the first kiss, the first painting, the first sculpture...my first attempt at pottery :-)

Which Desperate Housewife are you?

2005-05-03T04:20:00.000+08:00

Aparna is the Susan of Desperate Housewives!

You always mean well, but somehow things don't always work out as you'd planned. It doesn't matter. You take your tumbles with good grace and always come up smiling. But try to remember you're the grown-up in your family.
hmmm....:P

So which one are you?

Parineeta - A trip down melody lane

2005-05-01T06:41:00.000+08:00

From Uttar Pradesh to Bong land. That's the extent of my musical journey these past few days and boy am i pleased!!

The 50s, 60s, and early 70s were the golden era of the bollywood musical scene, each decade with a glitter of its own. Then came the late 70s and 80s and bollywood saw the worst in music (barring a few exceptions). 90s was thankfully far better but not quite. And then came the 21st century and by some stroke of genius the melody and novelty starved bollywood music scene is back on track. Hopefully.

Now back to Parineeta.

First things first, this is a must-listen album for anyone who prefers melody and the oldies. The sound of this album is similar to the likes of 1942-Love Story (Kuch na Kaho, Rim Jhim Rim Jhim - the haunting melodies basically).

Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal are in top-form. My favourites would be 'Hui Main Parineeta', 'Piyu Bole', 'Raat Hamari to'.

Piyu Bole is a beautiful number. Extremely melodious and refreshing. And very mmm...singable (if there's any such word) :-) Shreya Ghoshal and Sonu Nigam sound divine and damn good together.

Hui Main Parineeta is outstanding. Sounds very different. Very romantic. It's based on Piyu Bole but has been treated in a totally different way, giving it it's own identity. Awesome!

Raat Hamari to is a slow, haunting, sad number. Chitra has sung it beautifully.

Kaisi Paheli Zindagaani takes you down the memory lane to the night club numbers of the 50s & 60s . In the same vein as the classic Geeta-Dutt, Asha Bhonsle night club numbers (remember Howrah Bridge?). Sunidhi Chauhan renders this well. This one has been picturised on the one and only Rekha! So should be an interesting watch!

Soona Man ka Aangan is a sad number sung by who else but Sonu Nigam. He seems to have mastered sad songs :P. Supported beautifully again by Shreya Ghoshal. I read somewhere that, so taken-in by this song was Sonu Nigam that he actually ended-up crying up for real during recording. Phew!

Kasto Mazaa is a nice number. Sung by Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal. But not as outstanding as the rest in my humble opinion. Has been picturised on the Darjeeling train i suppose.

Dhinak Dhinak Dha is the only number which err...sticks out as a sore thumb in this album. Maily because it's quite loud. It's a naughty shaadi number. But i am least keen to listen to this one.

This is a must-listen album and i think a must-watch movie as well, going by the looks of the movie-stills. Can't wait to watch Saif Ali Khan in bong-garb, he sure looks hot! :D

Listen to Parineeta songs here: http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/movie_name.7875/

i. the narcissist. the two fishes.

2005-04-29T12:14:00.000+08:00

i like the wind. i like thunderstorms. i also like the winter sun.

i like the sea. but i don't want to venture too deep. i like the ground beneath my feet.

i want to be free. but i also need to belong.

i like to sit by the window. i like to observe. but i also want to be noticed.

i am rebellious. yet i can be painfully traditional at times.

i want to change the world. but i don't want to get my hands dirty doing it.

i am an idealist. yet i can see both sides of the coin.

i come across as extremely candid. but i'm actually quite gaurded.

i am scared of heights. but i take the tallest free-fall ride in the world and i sit by the window when i fly.

i like to be independent. yet i want to be taken care of.

i could be very unhappy. but you wouldn't know because i could laugh the most when i am unhappy.

i am honest. but i am also make-believe. i am an actress.

i am very resilient. very strong. but i am also very weak-willed.

i don't believe in religious restrictions and irrationalities. but i believe in destiny. i believe in astrology.

i am not moneywise. but i am forever concerned about financial security.

i like to be alone. i don't like loneliness.

i am like the two fishes of my sign. swimming in two opposite directions. trying to find what i am and some courage.

i. the narcissist. i am obsessed about evaluating myself. but i don't love myself. why can't i just say at the end there is just myself. because that is perhaps the reality.

i need to cling onto my relationships and i am scared to let go. why do i always feel like a kite with it's strings cut without my relationships to validate me. i should break free and swim upstream for a change.

but i know tomorrow i will be back to my security-seeking self. tomorrow i will feel torn apart by my freedom-seeking self.

i am forever trying to find the balance. and forever failing.

this was a sad little post. tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Happy B'day Baba

2005-04-27T08:56:00.000+08:00

It was my dad's Birthday yesterday. He turned 63. Took this picture this time around in Delhi.

My dad like many other Indian dads was what one would define as protective and at some point defined by me as 'over'protective. I never had that 'friends' equation with baba like i have seen with many other girls. Ma was there for that. Baba was always baba, protective, conventional baba.

But he was also full of contradictions. He was a hit with my friends especially guys (and here I'm talking about guys who are just friends, not boyfriends - the equation changed with even a hint of romance anywhere). He was a hit because of his awesome sense of humour.

I also remember him as a tyrant where my studies were concerned. Well tyrant may be an exaggeration, but yeah he was forever worried about my career choice (which to his dissapointment wasn't a Doctor or an Engineer). He perhaps wanted his children to be these super-achievers but over the years has accepted me and my brother's choices in life. Exam time was crunch time. As much as i hated it, i had to go though this early-morning-studying ritual every day! He had a theory that your mind is fresh early in the morning. Mine was far from it! But in all fairness he was more punctual in the waking up ritual than i could ever be.

He is also the true-blue bengali while i was the rebellious cosmopolitan. So there was enough fodder for arguments and this tradition is being continued by my brother! :D The joke going around in my family is that baba looks for a Bengali restaurant while eating out!

I have inherited my love for music from my dad. He lives for music and is quite young at heart. One would assume from his age that he would have a slightly tame/mature taste in music. But no sir! On the contrary, he digs the remixes churned out and has quite a number of them stacked up on the dashboard of the car. He hates to drive without music. And like me he digs RD Burman, SD Burman, Salil Choudhuri. He is also a romantic at heart. It's a little embarrasing and a lot of fun when he serenades Ma on some romantic song played on TV and Ma clumsily shuffles her feet along with him...and then exasperratingly exclaims "ufff onek hoyeche! bas aar na...onek boyesh hoyeche!" [Translated: That's enough! No more...We are old now!] :P

Apart from music I hope I have inherited his flair for languages. He writes very well. And he can speak several languages. About 8 or 9 of them! Apart form English, Hindi, Bangla, he can speak fluent Telugu, Manipuri, Bhutanese. He can also speak Punjabi, smattering of Nepali and Bihari hindi.

We have had our share of terrible rows.
An instance: He was what one would call, a chain-smoker. He could smoke 3-packs of cigarettes each day...that was normal. There were warnings from the doc which didn't help, neither did my mother's constant nagging. So I decided to take matters in my hands. Gave him an ultimatum that if he doesn't curb his smoking frequency he will be guilty of making me start smoking.I thought I had tamed him untill he said - Okay go ahead, I dont mind!! I was furious and appalled by the reaction and to prove my point took a cigarette from him and lighted it and took my first puff...and well I hated it!! I hated the taste of smoke and heat inside my mouth and throat! I failed to understand how he could smoke so much. Later, on being confronted by my mother as to how he could encourage his children to smoke, he said he knew I would hate it, so why bother and jeoparadise his smoking scene!! My brother doesn't smoke. I don't think my dad would mind if he did!

Despite all this he cried the most when I got married. And he is one of those rare men who cry watching movies.

Our relationship has gone through it's share of highs and lows. But I'm glad that my parents have each other at this point. My dad makes sure that Ma recieves a Bouquet first thing in the morning every b'day and Ma reciprocates the same way. They go and watch the latest bollywood movie to hit the town together. Ma makes sure that she cooks the fish just the way baba likes it. With just the right flavour and taste to it and scolds him if he slyly ventures to add a little extra salt. Somehow it's reassuring to see both of them sticking it out despite all odds after 30 years of stepping into each others lives. It's reassuring in a world full of incompatibilies, over-analysing of relationships. Perhaps it was easier for them to take it as it is and make it work regardless of anything else. And I'm glad that they did.

And I'm glad that I have them as parents, even if tomorrow I have to shout at them long distance over something that I don't agree with them on. :-)

I should end this post with my Ma's picture. She has lovely green eyes. Besides I'm a tad sentimental today and can't think of Ma and Baba separate.

Take a joyride with Bunty Aur Bubli

2005-04-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

Bunty Aur Bubli rocks! Trust Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy to come up with yet another great piece of work. The flavour of this album is undoubtedly local. UP to be precise. My favourites are 'Dhadak Dhadak', 'Bunty Aur Bubli', 'B n B' and 'Kajra Re'.

BnB is westernised...its as one would say very 'catchy'. :D

Dhadak Dhadak, Bunty Aur Bubli are very hindustani, very UP. You can visualise the lanes-bylanes of Uttar Pradesh, pan-chewing men, women in their seedha-pallu saris or salwaar-kameez, busy railway platforms, small boys with kulher-chai.

Kajra Re is an awesome qawaali. Reminds me of the qawaalis of the 60s and 70s. RD's qawaalis. Saucy, naughty, sadak-chaap but still very very likeable. Never expected Alisha Chinoy to sing a qawaali! It's one of those songs when your head moves, fingers tap and you end up muttering a 'wah wah'! :D
I haven't watched the promos, but i reckon this one features Ash, AB and Abhishek....can't wait!

Chup Chup Ke is very melodious and romantic but a little tame and predictable in comparison to the above mentioned ones. There's also the mandatory Punjabi number - Nach Baliye, which i didn't warm up to.

I got a very RD feeling from these songs [especially the above-mentioned ones]. RD had composed some awesome hindustani, street-smart songs, capturing the essence of the local culture of UP-Bihar belt.

I think my dad will love these songs :D

Listen to the songs here: http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/movie_name.7864/

Joe loves Connie and Yuki is lonely

2005-04-26T09:17:00.000+08:00

I took these pictures a few days back at Stanley beach. Stanley has these rock formations that run into the sea. Its beautiful, the waves crashing-on the rocks but never too wild. It's a lot of fun, jumping from one formation to the other and somehow managing to reach the tallest/highest one, and for a second feel triumphant! :-)

Most of these rocks have all kinds of scribbles, grafittis painted on them. Reminded me of a particular menace historical sites in india have to face. Lovers of the world leave their autographs, testimonials of their love on these historical monuments. 'Neeraj loves twinkle', 'Ravi - the ever applicable heart symbol - Renu', 'Bunty loves Bubli' - oops!! I'm listening to Bunty Aur Bubli songs as I write! :P

It also reminds me of the bollywood movies of the 80s. It's the woods. The hero and heroine running through the woods, singing-dancing. Hero scribbles something on the tree-trunk. Looks at the heroine with a 'look' in his eyes, heroine looks at his artwork - zoom onto the tree trunk....and yeah it's there...the hero's heart carved out nicely and precisely!!

Okay I should shutup now :-)

How many stories do you hide behind those lines

2005-04-13T12:07:00.000+08:00

A picture taken by me at Dilli-Haat this January. I chatted up with this man selling musical intruments. It is indeed amazing how people respond to just a little bit of kindness and willingness to listen. He ended up telling me where he was from, what he did for a living, how long he has been a musician and how difficult life is.
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Often times when I look at the elderly, the slouching shoulders, the slow shuffling gait, the clouded eyes, the wrinkles, I wonder how many stories hide behind those sinewy lines that crawl through their skin over the years. Its' as if you can trace back history running your fingers through these lines.

How much history, pain, laughter, romance, sacrifice, anger, passion, regret hides behind. How many of these stories are told and how many die with them. How different did they look when the skin was taut, when the feet were sprightly. It's amazing how even viciousness either fades away or is overlooked in the elderly.I feel like digging deep into their lives and know what it was like to be born at the time they were born. What was it like to live through an era which was so different from this one. I want to dig deep and soak-in all the water buried beneath.

Often times I have wondered if I will even live long enough for anyone to dig deep into my stories. Which of the stories will I be willing to reveal, the heroic/strong ones or the ones that are humbled by failures. Im not sure I want to...live that long that is. I'm scared of too long a life.
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"Didi". I wish my own grandparents were living at this point when I have started taking an interest in photography. I would have loved to photograph them.

Musicology

2005-04-09T09:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah...so I borrowed the title from Robbie Williams 'Escapology', or on a more politically correct note - I was inspired! I do read a lot of interviews given by our bollywood music directors you see. Besides I am a big Robbie Williams fan.

But let me not digress from the intent of this post...

Music to me is my life blood. Something that I need everyday. Every freaking day!! If I were to take away that part of me which thrives on music, I will be a dead soul. It's part of my very being and thankfully I am not averse to variety. Language has never been a detterent.

I used to sing. Used to. Past tense. A friend of mine who was/is a very good singer himself and played the guitar very well was my singing partner and we had some very good musical sessions together. But that is all in the past. A few days back, owing to one of those whimsical moments, I tried recording a song - in my voice. While I was recording, I thought wow this sounds good! That was perhaps because I had my headphones on with the audio of the music that I was singing, playing loud. Needless to say, it was a different story when I playbacked my recorded song. I couldn't bear listening to it! And I was sad, sad that I have managed to loose a gift I was born with. But perhaps I havent lost it all. Yet.

It's quite sad that music being so much a part of my life, I never had any formal training. I can't read musical notes neither can I play any musical instrument.I would like to change that though - hopefully soon enough.

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Some of the songs I'm currently digging (All thanks to Launch Cast Music!):

Top of the list is -

Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice

When I listened to this song, I thought now here is this person who can sing while he speaks. It's a beautiful song and beautifully picturised. The raging sea, the flowing curls, you can feel the attraction between the actors, the pull, the tension between them. The words and anguish in the voice touches your heart...it's just beautiful. (this song features in the movie - Closer)

Take a look at the video here - http://www.warnerbrosrecords.com/damienrice/

Now the rest:

The Remedy (I wont worry) - Jason Mraz
Give a Little bit - GooGooDolls
Lonely no more - Rob Thomas
Dakota - Stereophonics
I dont want to be - Gavin DeGraw
Falls On Me - Fuel
Wherever You will go - The Calling
God Put A Smile - Coldplay
Calling All Angels - Train
Best I ever Had - Vetical Horizon
Somewhere only we know - Keane
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Heaven - Los Lonely Boys
Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty
These Words - Natasha Bedingfield
24 - Jem

There i go again - the curious me!

2005-04-01T13:56:00.000+08:00

Now i am not the one to pry into others lives. But i do indulge in a little bit of curiosity once in a while [I am an avid reader of all agony-aunt columns one can come across...so get the drift?!].

I was browsing through one of those free magazines that one gets in cafes. I like browsing through them...some of them are well designed and are interesting reads as well. I also intended to take a look at the classifieds where one might come across good design job-opportunities. Anyway...as i was browsing through, i came across 'The Personals' and as usual my curiosity-meter went up a notch...and i HAD to look at each and every one of them!

Women wanting Men
Men wanting Women
Men wanting Men
Women wanting Women
Just Friends
Services

Following are some of the more interesting ones i came across. Enjoy! :-)

Always dreaming about how it feels to get close to woman physically.
Can you give me chance? Me:34/170/61; U:non-fat; non-smoking.

Do you want to recover from a broken relationship?
A curing pill is in front of you!

Male, 24, Chinese looking for Chinese women aged 28-49 for
short-term relationship. Lets have fun together!

Cute French Master is looking for his slave. You want to be dominated...
Let me be your guide..Let you live your dream.

International.Hollywood. Delightful, charming feminine lady will make
your evening pleasent & enjoyable. Relaxing and totally rewarding.
Domination special equipment.

This one was well written i thought:
Needle in a haystack. An attractive Chinese professional in his mid 30s
is turning to the personals in the odd chance that an equally cultured
Western bloke (>35 years old) might be reading this advert.

And now the best one!
Sexy Angel Pure Asian virgin, HK seeking expatriate for development.
I am good nature, sincere. Need ABC or Western guy for my first time.

:D

The little man-boy

2005-03-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

I took this picture a few days back. The sun was out and it was warm with a nice breeze. So i went to Tsim Tsa Tui from where one can see the the skyscrapers dotting the HK harbour. A lovely view...the sea, ships, boats, HK harbour...one can spend hours just sitting, watching and observing. And i did precisely that!

As i was walking along the Millenium Walk...i saw this little boy walking behind his mother. He had just lost his balloon, and he threw the stick on which the balloon was perched in disdain, put his hands in his pocket and continued walking.

There was something about his gait, which made me take this picture...I was extremely amused to watch this little boy walk like a man. There was this 'I am a man of the world' attitude in this little boy who perhaps measured a little higher than my knee...

I am a non-believer! And thats great!

2005-03-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

I do not believe in religion.

I do not believe in the conventional notions about 'god'.

I do not like the 'my religion is better than yours so let's convert you' attitude.

I believe religion has nothing to do with any kind of 'god'! Religion is simply a set of rules that conform to what is perceived by any particular society as the good and moral way of living. Unfortunately these rules and ideals have brought about much grief and intolerance in this world.

The concept of religion is peculiar to only humans because we can form ideas and are empowered with the gift of imagination unlike any other species on this planet.

Religion at best is something that gives one strength and hope because humans are essentially weak...they need assurance of protection from pain, from the unknown, from unhappiness. At its worst religion brings out the nastiest in us, disregards anything logical, compassionate and humane.

I do not believe in segregations set-up by the society. Black-white-yellow-brown-casts-religion. Underneath, we all are the same. Almost always. Attention seeking-fake-real-unhappy-happy-dissatisfied-amorous-saints-sinners-searching-groping-greedy-giving-puzzled-arrogant-craving for love...that's a few of the things we all are...inside. The rest is all superficial, pigeon-holes...and immaterial.

I believe in greys, not black and whites. Some dark greys, some lighter shades. But all greys.

I believe in evolution.

I believe in nature. Patterns of nature. The cosmos, the planets, the moon, the tides... perhaps even destiny.I do not believe that 'god' is a 'he'. Its perhaps a power, a pattern, an energy, god is an 'it', not a 'he'.

In a few billion years from now, the sun on its death bed will engulf this planet and our existence on it. Something that we take for granted. Our 'gods' who we pray to won't come to our rescue in all probability...space science will! :-)

What kind of a dancer are you? - Girls only!!

2005-03-10T05:39:00.000+08:00

Okay this is hillarious!! Good timepass...try out! :) Quite a girly thing indeed!

What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)

You are a Belly Dancer. You are charming inside
out, your life follows an interesting rhythem,
beautiful and smooth, you know how to be the
center of attention when you want to, you love
your friends and you can trust them on your
life. Your ideal man is the one with a sweet
witty character who understands how much
freedom is important to you.

brought to you by Quizilla

Song for the day

2005-03-10T05:17:00.000+08:00

Foot tapping...mast...hummable...refreshing...

Yunhi chala, chal raahi
Yunhi chala, chal raahi
Kitni haseen hai ye duniya
Phool saare jamele, dekh phoolon ke mele
Badi rangeen hai duniya
Rum tum taana na nak tum tum taana na
Rum tum taana na nak tum tum taana na
Rum tum taana na nak tum tum taana na... bhaiya

Movie: Swades (which i havent watched yet!)
Music Director: A.R.Rahman (one of my all time favorites!)

Listen to this song here:
http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/movie_name.7522/year.75/

I am humbled

2005-03-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

Wading my way through the cyber world, i came across the website for 'Born into Brothels', the documentary that has won this years Academy Awards. And i must say that i am amazed...absolutely amazed and totally humbled!

It's so true that creativity exists everywhere and in the most unlikely of places! On second thoughts i should take back what i just said...there is no unlikely place for creativity!

I am ashamed that i wallow in my small mundane sorrows when there are such fine examples of the human spirit!

Do visit the site and go through the section showcasing the pictures taken by the kids...it's not worth giving a miss! And do write a few words of encouragement for the kids (email), i did...

http://kids-with-cameras.org/kidsgallery/

Daydreaming - simple pleasures of life

2005-02-25T15:43:00.000+08:00

I want to live like one of those characters in TV soaps who don't have to work for their living. So that I can indulge in small pleasures of life.

I want to own a small cottage somewhere on a beach. It will be a small cottage, with a kitchen garden where I'll grow tomatoes, lemons, potatoes, spinach, chilies - well anything I want to basically. There'll be a nice big garden with fresh green grass and an assortment of flowers - chrysanthemums, lilies, roses, shiuli. There will be coconut trees, a mango tree perhaps...

My cottage will have huge windows that will not try to hide anything from the outside world...I'll casually drape old colourful silk saris, soft dhakai saris on my windows moving away from the restriction and structure of tailored curtains.

Cushions in bright colours and various sizes will be strewn around on white marble floor. Comfortable wicker sofas you could sink-in for those who shy away from the floor. I will perhaps throw in a charpai somewhere in the house to indulge my eccentricity! There will be my didgeridoo and emu-caller standing tall in a corner giving company to each other, keeping an eye on the goings-on around them.

Spaces and rooms will flow into each other like rivers. Fluidity, interspersed with brief obstructions and structurality will mimic the imperfections and beauty of life itself.

The walls will be adorned by my paintings. Huge canvases on which colours will make love, play with each other, unabashedly...

A studio of my own housing an old rickety easel, canvases lying here and there, a colour palette clothed in dry crusty paint, textured by scraggy bristles of my brushes. A potter's-wheel lying in one corner of the room; a mound of wet mud waiting to be brought to life with the caress of my fingers. A shelf full of books to satiate my craving for words. A piano and a guitar and a stack of papers with musical notes will complete my creative sanctuary.

The bedroom will be simple, beautiful and sensual...soft muslins, cottons, scented sheets, scented candles, an assortment of wind-chimes to put me to sleep with their light tinkling music on cool breezy nights, a wooden four-poster bed in dark maghony, draped in fine white muslin...large windows...cool floor...soft feathered pillows...bamboo lampshades and some more candles...

Somewhere in the house will be this very old gramophone with its rotating handle, which my grandfather owned. An easy-chair my grandfather used to sit on till his last days.

My kitchen will be earthy, somewhat old fashioned. No state-of-the-art electric chimney for me, I want to relish the aromas wafting through air when I cook...it will remind me of my mother and her cooking… A collection of fine wine and home-grown herbs in small pots will make it so much more charming and warm.

My family and friends and their presence will give it warmth and make my cottage a home…my dream home. The simple pleasures of life...

Roz Roz aankhon tale - Memories revisited

2005-02-10T12:02:00.000+08:00

For some reason i felt like listening to old hindi music today - the bollywood variety...and i don't know why but this song by R.D.Burman - 'Roz Roz aankhon tale' kept buzzing in my mind. But i had no clue which movie it was from...so i did what i always do when in need of information - i google - solution to all my queries, the inquisitives of the world will vouch for it! ...so i googled and voila! - Roz Roz aankhon tale - music director R.D.Burman, movie: Jeeva (Jeeva!! whatever is that!! never heard of it!).

Logged onto musicindiaonline and started listening to Roz Roz... and all these memories and emotions came rushing in...memories of a distant past when everything seemed rosy, bubbly and beautiful.

The first time i heard this song was when i had just started my first job - at NIIT. I was young. Talented(or so i thought!). Had just fallen-in-love resulting in a state of being inexplicable in words! And like most youngsters was into music and singing BIG-TIME!! Amongst my friends was this guy much senior to me but shared my taste in bollywood music - was a RD.Burman fan to be precise. And it was he who first introduced me to this song. I was surprised that i hadn't heard of it since i was a big RD fan...but i loved it from the moment i heard.

Perhaps because of the state of 'love' that i was in at that point or for the lyrics especially the first few lines...
Roz Roz aankhon tale, Ek hi sapna chale, raat bhar kaajal jale, aankh mein jis tarah khwaab ka dia jale...
this song touched me like nothing else.

And when i heard these words again they brought back memories of long endless nights of long endless conversations on the phone, sleepless nights dreaming with your eyes open (raat bhar kaajal jale...), a longing which is so pure and yet so incomprehensible. What is it about love that makes people do seemingly stupid things with so much sincerety and passion...

This song also brought back memories of days when we would record audio cassettes for each other with our favourite songs...i remember telling him about this song that i had heard and the next thing i get from him is this collection of beautiful songs that he cared to remember were my favourites in a cassette...written in his lovely handwriting on the cover was 'A's Favourites'. I still have that cassette with me. I don't play it anymore. I don't have a cassette player anymore...everything is in CDs and DVDs. But i will always keep it, as a souvenir of the days when i was young...and in-love.

If only one could capture these chunks and moments of life in a cassette for eternity and replay them once in a while...to feel alive.

For anyone who listens to songs online, check this site out. It has an awesome collection of indian music you can listen to. http://www.musicindiaonline.com/

Thunderstorms and mellow winter sun

2005-01-27T14:24:00.000+08:00

I savor...

The afternoon mellow sun in winters caressing my face...soft, warm and gentle in it's embrace.

Thunderstorms...lightening, strong winds touch my face, dance through my hair. Rain lashing out on the window pane, pitter-patter on tin roofs.

Walking barefoot on dewy fresh green grass.

Wandering through the morning mist of the hills...sinewy paths of tea-gardens.

The music of the ocean, soft silky sand, rustle of the palm leaves.

Sleeping under a starlit night sky. Drape it around like a blanket...soaking in the beauty of solitude and silence.
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Much of my craving for nature, beauty, sights and sounds are based on my childhood experiences i reckon. I am attached to my past and i try to cling onto the beautiful sights and sounds and crave for those long lost serene moments when life was without complications...when life was relatively innocent.

My earliest memories would be that of North Bengal. The tea gardens, train chugging along - windows open to the lush greenery. The cobbled walkway to someones bunglow...i can't remember whose...

I remember Bhutan, Pungshilling...teesta with water so clear you could see pure white stones on the river bed. My tricycle...shambhu the boy who used to work with us - who took me out on my tricycle every evening...Vague memories of the restaurant we used have rosomalais from.

The first taste and sight of snow when we moved to Tsimalekha...Huge windows with breathtaking views of hills...the tin roof, Bukharis (Bhutanese version of room heaters!)...Bhutan was one of the best time of my childhood...though i was quite young at the time i have quite a number of memories of Bhutan...The palace at Thimpu, Paro....beautiful mountains...friends collecting wild strawberries, wild flowers...

Even to this day i have dreams of Phungshilling now and then...the winding roads and small bhutanese cottages. I would keep walking on these roads...neverending - never knowing where I'm heading...

I would like to revisit all these old places once before i die and soak-in the changes...I feel I'm an old soul who has preserved centuries of feelings and memories inside and not being able to let go. I would like to revisit and let go...let go off everything in the past and be excused from this cycle of birth-rebirth and endless burden...